Just A Sprinkle Of Madness
by Kimberley Francisca
Summary: Inspired by x-the-three-crazed-teenagers-x! Pirates Of The Caribbean Self-Insert writers: Jack lovers, Elizabitch haters and Will... Well, we'll just wait for Will to figure that out. Gets better further on. REVIEW! Mature Language. JackxOC
1. What The?

_Hey everyone! My name is Kimberley and I happen to be the author for this fantastical piece. Haha but the person who is going to write in __**bold**__ from now on is my best friend, portrayed in this story as the sharp-tongued character __**Lexi Gray**__. Anything I want to say other than that will be in italics - just like this - above or below the bold. _

_- Kim_

_P.S. This chapter is slightly strange. It's supposed to be. Don't worry, you're not going mad, you're just entering the mind of someone who is. Forward, then!_

**Disclaimer: Everything but Lexi and Holly belong to Disney…we're just borrowing, borrowing without permission. =D**

'Holly!'

'I'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm so sorry! I honestly didn't mean to! I'll buy you a new one!'

Holly's best friend Lexi gave her a look. 'Stop lying. I KNOW you can't afford it, you may be rich but you're not THAT rich! Why the hell are you so clumsy, anyway! Jeez!'

'OhmyGosh! Look, Look! Ha HA! It still works! YUSSS!' Holly did her crazy little happy dance that she only does infront of Lexi, because it was really embarrassing to watch. The TV, which she was crazily pointing to, was flickering as it struggled to play the disk that was in the sticky, dripping DVD player that was the crime scene of Holly's clumsiness.

'Aw, no, FAIL!' Holly shouted at the screen, as she watched the first few frames of the movie play over and over as the disk skipped and reversed. Lexi spoke definitely from behind her, her eyes also glued to the small TV screen. '… You owe me a new Pirates Of The Caribbean disk, mate.'

'Aye…' Holly hung her head in shame. This was the second time this had happened, it was SO embarrassing!

Lexi went to get a towel (or, erm…. several…) to mop up what she could. Meanwhile, Holly attempted to get the disk out, getting quickly frustrated and banging her fist against the top of the player. It would have been okay, since the player was already broken, except that it appeared that Holly's hand had got stuck to the top of the device. Not matter how hard she pulled, it wouldn't budge. Holly was contemplating what it would be like to carry a DVD player around for the rest of her life, when something happened. It was so… unbelievable, that Holly couldn't even yell to Lexi to help.

What the….?

Instead of being able to pull away, she was being pulled _towards _the player. As in, Holly watched with eyes as wide as saucers as her hand melted into the DVD player. It didn't seem to have a bottom either, which randomly reminded her of Mr Weasley's car boot in Harry Potter. It just continued to pull her in like quicksand, until she was completely immersed in it and her world soon went completely black.

Lexi returned, towel(s) in hand and was confused when she couldn't see Holly. 'Holly?' She asked to thin air. No answer. 'Did you fix it?' … No answer.

'Holly Lynn Robinson!'

…..

Something moved in the corner of her eye. Suddenly all her senses were extra alert. There was someone else in the house. Holly wouldn't do that to her, she would have answered by now. What if Holly had been kidnapped, but Lexi had interrupted before the kidnapper could quietly leave the house undetected.

Instinctively, Lexi reached for her sword. One of many, actually, but this one was the closest. Granted, it was wooden, but she was willing to bet that it could do a lot of damage if it needed to. She thought maybe the element of surprise might be necessary, though, in order for her actually having a chance of doing any damage. She scampered to her closet and squeezed in, batting stray clothes out of the way. She held her breath, waiting for some sort of signal for her to move. She saw two shadows, one tall and lanky, one shorter. She guessed the shorter one was Holly, but she couldn't be sure.

'We know you're 'ere, Poppet.'

_Hey, I know that-_

Everything went black.

**Review or face the GALLOWS!**


	2. Leverage, Says You

**Disclaimer: We tried to make an accord with Disney, but we were unsuccessful, so nope we don't own anything other than Lexi and Holly. Yes, I know, I am pretty pissed off too..**

Mmm. Warm… Holly loved waking up with the sunlight on her closed eyelids. It was just one of those things that made the day THAT much better. Wow, what a crazy dream, though! DVD player… Melting…. "Ahhh, i'm mellllllllting…!" Holly imagined herself screaming and chuckled at the thought.

"Glad to see some can still be happy in a prison cell. You've just restored my hope in the inmates." A voice said. Prison…. A voice!

…_PRISON!_

Holly bolted upright to see a man in a VERY bright red coat, who was standing on the _other_ side of the bars, evaluating her. _A guard… I think?_ Holly thought, a million thoughts racing each other in her mind. Eventually one won: "Where am I?"

"I thought that would have been obvious…"

"I don't mean prison, I mean, where am I? What suburb? What CITY?"

"…. I don't know what a city is…"

***facepalm***

"WHERE. AM. I.?" Holly hissed through her teeth, wondering how much longer she could go without wanting to slap him. All of about two seconds, she'd bet. The guard looked scared now, which was probably a good thing. It was necessary to be cautious around Holly, she could be pretty dangerous sometimes…

'Port Royal, Miss! I mean, convict! A-and- No more questions! That's enough outta you!' The guard half walked and half ran away from her cell and out of sight, Holly didn't even have time to ask him what she was there for before he disappeared.

Holly jumped up and grabbed the rickety bars with her bare hands. 'Hey! Heeeyyy! I don't think i'm supposed to be in here! HEY!' She banged on the bars, shaking them violently trying to get attention. Instantly, she heard voices:

'Me 'either!'

'I'm innocent, I tell ye!'

'Aye!'

'Aye!'

'Aye aye!'

Soon the entire prison was bursting with protests and war stories. But no guard appeared to be coming to her aid. Useless. Holly rolled her eyes and tried to dust off a spot for her to sit down without getting too dirty -TRIED being the key word.

'First time in th' slammer, missy?' A pirate asked in a cell on the left of her. 'Come over 'ere, i'll keep ye company…' His eyes became hooded and suddenly Holly wanted to throw up…. Wonder if they're connected?

'Okay, time to get out of here.' She told herself and began pacing around her cell, careful not to go to far to the left. She tried to remember how Jack had got out… well there was that one time that the lock had been blasted through by a cannon, but Holly didn't think that was likely to happen in her case. Ah, that's right! Will helped him!

… _Damn_. Will helped him.

Using physics. Basic physics…. Hey, she had got 87% on her last physics test, why not give it a shot. She walked up to the bars and shook them a little. 'Half pinned barrel hinges,' she whispered. 'With the right leverage and the proper application of strength, the door will lift free.'

_See, people who get annoyed with me quoting this all the time? Sometimes it actually comes in useful…_

Holly bent her knees a bit, lowering her center of gravity and awkwardly grabbed ahold of the bars. With a grunt, she tried to lift the bars and push them forward at the same time. No matter how many times she did this, she could never get the bars to fall down. 'You've got to be kidding me! Turner, you cannot honestly be THAT stupid that your theory of the forces used to unhinge these bars is movie magic! SERIOUSLY!' Holly ferociously kicked the door, using as much energy as she could, causing herself to overbalance and fall down in the process. There was a deep, heart-stopping clang of metal against stone and when the dust cleared, Holly saw that she was no longer restricted. She gave a smug grin.

"Leverage, says you. Put enough force on something and it'll break, says I!'

**Review or be kissed by Gillette…..Your choice…**

**.. We suggest you choose wisely.**


	3. SPLASH

**DISCLAIMER: APOLOGIES TO ALL, BUT WELL WE'RE POOR AND CANNOT AFFORD TO BUY JACK, OR ANY OTHER CHARACTERS, SO WE'RE STUCK WITH LEXI AND HOLLY. SINCERELY US.**

Holly raced up the stairs, hoping feverishly that the guard would not catch her - she didn't have any sort of weapon to defend herself with and she didn't feel like being a kebab anytime soon.

Surprisingly, the door didn't have a lock on it and Holly stumbled to open it. She burst out into the hot caribbean sun, wondering where to go next. **BANG!**

_Down, apparently…_

"Ow! Jeez, watch where you're going! Girl with sword here, I could have skewered you!" A familiar voice said from above her. Looking up from her newly acquired place on the ground, Holly couldn't have been happier. "Lexi?"

''ell poppet!' Lexi said brightly and gave her a hand up. Lexi was decked out in full pirate gear - a flowing, V-necked, fitted pirate shirt, which showed off her delicate frame quite nicely was secured at the bottom by two worn leather belts and one black one, all of which had buckles that were very intricate in design, coupled with a orange and brown sash laced tightly through the belt hoops of her brown 3 quarter long canvas pants. Her pirate "booties" matched her leather belts and were overturned at the top. She had many elaborate rings, though no bracelets, just a piece of black material tied around her left wrist. She also had an eye-catching ruby necklace, as red as a drop of blood, which sparkled in the hot caribbean sun. Finally, she had an orange bandana tied around her ginger bangs. She looked down at Holly with her large sea blue eyes. She looked _down _because even though Holly was standing, Lexi was still a head and a half taller.

Holly was so relieved, she embraced Lexi and refused to let go. Lexi patted her awkwardly on the shoulder. 'Okay, Holly… you can let go now… Holly… You can, uh….Holly? Hoooooolly? Yeah….. HOLLY LET GO!' Lexi screeched right in Holly's ear, making her jump and let go. 'What!What'swrong!' She screamed. Lexi rolled her eyes.

'Okay, first of all, you were acting like a human corset. Secondly, pirates don't ah… hug… I mean, they don't fist bump either, but they definitely don't hug. They're more of a patting type of people. See?' Lexi demonstrated by patting Holly lightly on one shoulder, then continued. 'Thirdly, looky! There's your cue!' Lexi pointed past Holly's shoulder and Holly followed her finger to see… It took a moment to process what she was seeing.

Lexi made a low whistling sound, matching the person's falling. Holly thought she was mad.

*SLASH* ("Plop!" Said Lexi)

"Ohmygosh, suicide!'

She started hyperventilating. Lexi rolled her eyes again, resisting the strong temptation to slap her best friend. 'No, idiot! We. Are. In. Pirates. Of. The. Caribbean. Got it? And that was Elizabeth, NOT BREATHING! Go and save her!'

'But Jack-'

Holly heard Lexi step up quietly behind her, she went to turn around but felt strong hands on her back and suddenly, pushing her towards the water. She wouldn't have fell in, if she wasn't naturally unco and ended up overbalancing.

*SPLASH*

Holly was instantly discombobulated, but finally was able to swim to the surface, mentally preparing a string of choice choice words for her dear friend, who currently looked like she could out-swear her any day. Pirate.

But when she got to the top, there was no one to yell at. What the… ? Holly looked around wildly, hoping to see a flash of orange hair or hear the quiet rhythmic patter of boots not wanting to be discovered, but there was nothing. But then, a distant voice called out to her: 'That was all you, mate!'

_Bitch!_

**Lexi: "Apples or Bananas? Hmmm… Well I prefer apples, but I like Jack better than Barbossa soooooooo ORANGES!…. AND They match my hair! You know what else matches my hair? REVIEWS! I swear, they're so versatile, they match almost everything! But I love my hair and reviews match my hair, so be nice and review!"**

**Readers: "Nahhh, I really can't be bothered…"**

**Lexi: *Gives scorching look that ALSO matches her hair* "… Seriously, do you WANT to be pushed into freezing cold waters with sharks and all manner of evil sea creatures? 'Cause, ya know, I can do that…"**

**Readers: *Review hastily***


	4. The Norrington Catastrophe

**I LIKE ORANGES! I OWN THE ORANGES!HA! And well Lexi and sadly Holly. But not Jack, I know! I wish I owned him too…**

_Oh my gosh, it's Jack! _

Granted, he was just a bobbing head in the water, but Holly's eyes were definitely seeing Captain Jack Sparrow, in all his…. heroic… glory. Heroic only because the navy guards couldn't swim, but still. Holly was a great swimmer and put as much effort as possible to get to Jack. When she got closer, Jack appeared to be struggling, Elizabeth was underwater. Holly called to him 'Take off her dress! It's weighing you down!' Jack was startled but realized that she was right. Holly held Elizabeth above the water while Jack ripped her dress open. 'H-hey…" Holly started to struggle to keep her own head above water, but Jack couldn't hear her. In desperation, she kick out, trying to find Jack.

… She found him.

He came to the surface spluttering and very angry. 'What the bloody hell was that for!' he yelled. 'JUST. TAKE. HER.' Holly yelled back. If there was one thing Jack knew, it was to not mess with an angry woman. Or… girl. This female was half and half, probably about 17 years of age. He took Elizabeth from her and quickly swam towards the shore, trying to get away from the other.. Female.

Finally they got up on the dock, just as Norrington and his sheep reached them. But Jack hadn't cut Liz's corset yet! Without thinking, Holly jumped in front of them, putting herself in between them and Norrington. Holly went to draw her sword, but there was nothing there. Damn. She threw my arms out, as if to protect them, but the reality that she could face an entire Royal Navy on her own was ludicrous. She hastily addressed Norrington to distract him and amazingly he stopped in his tracks. 'Leave them be for a bit longer Commodore and you may just see your dearest Elizabeth alive again.'

Okay. So that _wasn't_ the best way to word it.

Holly gestured vaguely towards Jack, who was bending over an unconscious Elizabeth. 'He can help her. Calls himself Smith. He's an… expert at this stuff.' She said, as she listened to Jack muttering. 'Don't worry, Commodore, she's in good hands.'

'Who are you? How do you know me?'

_Shit…_

'Oh, Commodore! How could I _not_ know who you are? Your reputation spans far and wide! Congratulations on the promotion, by the way!'

'I don't recognize your accent. Where are you from?'

'I'm from… The sea. My home is the sea.' Nice. _Homeless sailor, that's me!_

Their pleasantries were interrupted by violent coughing, signaling that Elizabeth was now breathing again. They both looked back to see Mullroy gingerly holding Elizabeth's corset, now ripped in half. Jack was giving Elizabeth a very strange look. Three guesses what that was about.

'Wow, I hadn't really pinned you as that sort of guy…' Holly teased the guard, whose cheeks went bright red and he quickly threw it away and wiped his handily nervously on his coat. The livid look Norrington was giving him was highly entertaining. Steam coming out of his ears would've fit quite nicely. He wielded his sword, charging forward, pushing Holly to the side. 'Excuse you!' She said, steadying myself. Norrington wasn't listening, he pointed his sword at Jack, who was still crouching over Elizabeth. 'On your feet!'

'Elizabeth! Oh, Elizabeth are you alright?' Daddy came rushing, more waddling, through the crowd, desperately seeking his daughter. Elizabeth spotted him and rushed into the coat he was holding out, embarrassed to be in so few clothes in front of so many men. Meanwhile, Jack and Norrington were bantering. Norrington was mocking Jack and Jack was doing his best to keep his dignity. As if he could ever loose it.

Norrington was holding out his hand. Holly realized what was happening and yelled 'No, Ja- Mr Smith, DON'T!'

Too late. Jack's brand was unveiled and all pleasantries were lost. All attention was on Jack, guns aimed at his heart. Oh, and one on Holly. Norrington's. 'What the hell, Norrington! What have I done? I'm innocent!'

'So, you're telling me that just as the most infamous pirate ever washes up on our shores, you just HAPPEN to turn up, to be found with him trying to….' Norrington made a disgusted face, probably thinking of all the things Jack could have done to his precious to-be fiance. 'Get two pairs of irons! They both have a very important appointment at dawn that they can't afford to miss!'

Holly rolled her eyes. 'Seriously. Don't you ever get sick of using that line? It's so cliche. I'm pretty sure it's been around since Treasure Island. I mean, come on, get some new material!'

There was a stunned silence.

'Now's good, Jack….' She muttered, looking at the advancing Navy.

Behind her, there was a commotion. Jack had trapped Elizabeth within his cuffs, using her as a human shield. The crowd instantly became unsettled now that Elizabeth was once again in danger. 'No don't shoot!' Daddy cried. 'I knew you'd warm up to me.' Jack said. 'Commodore Norrington, my effects please. And me hat!'

Norrington reluctantly handed them over. As Jack spun Elizabeth around, Holly couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy. Even though Jack hadn't done more than give her a second glance, she still felt as if they had something. Or they were going to have something. That's normally how these things go, right? …. Right?

As Jack planned his surprise exit, Holly planned a surprise of her own.

'…Gentlemen, m'lady, you will always remember this as the day that you almost caught Captain Jack Sparrow!' Jack grabbed the rope and he was off. Holly took this as her opportunity and did a run up. She put my arms over Norrington's head, jumping on his back and putting her hand over his mouth so that he couldn't command Open Fire. Heh. Bet he wasn't expecting that.

She whispered harshly in his ear. 'Captain Jack Sparrow is one of the greatest pirates of this century. All of the greatest pirates are to be free. You can't _really _expect to keep him tied up, can you?'

While she was saying this, the Commodore was busy choking, eyes bulging. Finished with her speech, something came to Holly's attention. 'Why do you wear this wig anyway? It just makes you look like you have an ice-cream on your head. I might call you that from now on… Regardless, you look so much better without it, you know. Much more… Adventurous.' She grabbed the wig and threw it somewhere behind her. Norrington roared in pain, apparently she had grabbed some hair as well. Oops.

'Get-off-me-!' Norrington tried to throw her off, but couldn't because it choked him. He leant forward, trying in vain. He spun around when he stood up, losing his balance. The men watched, dumbfounded, for if they were to ever point a weapon at their superior they would immediately be sacked.

That's when Holly realized how close to the edge we were. 'Norrington… Norry- No! DON'T YOU DARE! FUUUUUUU-'

*SPLASH*

'You Bitch!' She yelled when she surfaced. 'Who knew you were so damn clumsy!'

Norrington didn't know what to say. He looked livid, though. Heh. This was fun...

'ARREST HER!' Was what she heard before she started swimming frantically towards shore. Holly felt Norrington grab her ankle and kicked as hard as she could. She felt her foot hit something, but she didn't stop to find out what. She heard Norrington spluttering, men yelling. No one was even thinking about the girl who had just escaped. Except the incapable Norrington, of course.

She was free.

**Reader TO DO list.**

**1. Review 10000000 times**

**2. Set sail from Tortuga with a crew of parrots**

**3. Eat Turnips while mocking William Turner about the similarity between him and the dreaded vegetable.**

**4. Attempt to out pansy Turner in a sword fight**

**5. "Borrow" Jack's hat without permission**

**6. Re paint the black pearl, hot pink**

**7. Review some more…**

**8. ANNNNNDDDD….Wait patiently while I think of more things to write on this exceptional TO DO list.**


	5. Distraction And Destruction

**Hi. This is a disclaimer. We own two characters, Holly and Lexi. So yep. We're pretty upset. That is all.**

Holly ran for her life.

Seriously, she hadn't ran this fast from anything. EVER. Running wasn't really her thing… Which probably wasn't good now that it was pretty much the only form of land transport. It didn't take long for the men to start following her. She had to get out of sight, fast. She sort of… Ran into the first door she saw. Then she picked herself up off the ground and used her common hence, maneuvering the door open and slipping inside.

A little boy was standing there, staring at her. He looked like he was going to pee his pants, but was also oddly fascinated by this mysterious person who had just walked into his house. 'A-are you a p-pirate?' He asked her. She considered how it was every boys dream to be a pirate and decided she was in no danger here. She threw her arms up in mock defeat. 'You got me!'

The boy giggled. 'I don't wanna get you! You're cool!'

_Did I mention how weird it is to find this within your favorite pirate movie?_

Holly put her finger to her lips and he copied her, signaling he knew he had to be quiet. The guards would be here any second now. She crouched down in front of him and whispered softly.

'You wanna help me escape?'

5 minutes later, Holly was off. She had always wanted to dress like this: loose-fitting old fashioned shirt, ill fitting trousers and a hat that had all her hair bunched up into it. It might not sound glamourous, but if there was ever clothes that made you feel like a pirate, it was clothes like this. Of course, it was missing a few stains, rips and otherwise authentic pirate marks, but for now it was doing it's job: To hide her identity from anyone who might recognize her. If she could manage to not get caught, she could wreck all kinds of havoc until it was time to leave.

She vaguely recognized a few streets from the movie but there were some places that she just got completely lost in. It probably didn't help that she was not the best when it came to navigational skills. Holly's heart stopped when she was roughly grabbed by the collar. She was caught.

"You. You're coming with me." Jack said gruffly and pulled her along with him. She tried to resist, like any... normal citizen of Port Royal. "Me? Why?" She gave him her best puppy-dog-innocent face. "I'm just a innocent boy, Sir!"

Jack stopped suddenly and turned, causing her to bump into him. He put his face very close to hers. "Oh, really?" She could feel the warmth of his breath and it was making her whole body suddenly rise in temperature. Particularly her cheeks. "I thought so!" He smirked and whipped her hat right off her head, releasing a set of long, golden locks. He smiled, satisfied. Then he continued walking. Well, walking is always a loose term for the dear Captain.

Holly hesitated, then followed. Realizing something, she called to him. "Hey, you know, if your hunch had been wrong, you would have been flirting with a guy!"

No answer.

"How'd you know I was a girl?"

"I'm a good guesser."

"Nope. Nuh-uh. I'm not buying that. So many people in this town cannot be that stupid to think i'm a guy and then one man strolls up and immediately knows i'm a woman. Not possible."

"Lass, i'm-"

"Yeah yeah, CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow. It's still not possible."

"Not probable..."

Holly remembered seeing the guards flood port royal looking for Jack in the movie and swore, realizing where we were. She shoved her hair back in the hat and whispered to him. "Quick, behind here!" She shoved Jack behind the statue by the blacksmith. There were footsteps nearby, marching in time. Holly saw Navy soldiers through the archway. They most definitely would have seen Jack if he was still standing there.

"How did you know they were coming?" Jack's whisper broke her train of thought.

"I'm a good guesser, too."

Another bunch of soldiers passed and Norrington's right-hand man spotted Holly. Shit. "Civilian!" He called. "Have you seen a pirate?"

Wow. That's... wow. Great description.

"Uhhh..."

Suddenly Norrington was there. Do you ever notice that; he's just suddenly THERE? We don't get his journey, ever! It's annoying! Especially now Holly was IN the movie!

"Anything?" He asked.

"Nay."

"Idiots, all of them!" He hissed. Jeez, vicious much? Although he did let Captain Jack Sparrow slip, but that was inevitable. Idiot thought he actually had a chance! HA!

"Actually, I think this one is just dumb.."

Wait.. Oh _HELL_ no!

"Hey, excuse me! I'm right here! That's NO WAY to talk about a lady!" Holly almost screeched, so offended that she forgot...

... Uh oh.

In her defense, she have ALWAYS wanted to say that. Though, when she'd imagined it, she was wearing a really fancy dress and her hair was done up all nice and all. _I have got to learn not to daydream so much!_

Norrington's face was priceless. Shocked, Skeptical, disgusted, suspicious and just a little bit impressed. Holly wished cameras had been invented. Gilette's mouth took the shape of a small 'o'. Norrington was so flustered, he forgot his manners. "What?"

Holly thought about it. "Okay, point taken. Not a lady. Not even a little. But, I am a woman!"

Why was she thinking of the song "Sweet Transvestite" right now!

"I'm not a transvestite." She blurted out. Then she blushed. Stop TALKING.

"Why are you dressed like that, then?"

"I'm a.. sailor, yeah that works.. See, I don't know your customs here, I just wear what works for me." ... What she heard next was NOT what she expected.

"... Don't you ever want to look PRETTY?" Gilette asked. Oh. No. He. _Didn't_.

Holly took a step forward and took out her sword. "Hey, shaver man, I dare you to say that again. And then, I dare you to sit on my sword, so it goes so far up your ass that-"

"Stop!" Norrington commanded. "I have you on accounts of indecency and verbally assaulting an officer, do you really want to add to that?"

...

"You BASTARD! You call this indecency? You live ONE day in my life, in my _world_, i'll show you fucking indecency!" Holly abandoned her sword and lunged at him, jumping on his back and pulling his wig off and clawing at his face.

This was becoming a hobby.

She saw Jack take his leave into Brown's, so she started screaming to distract everyone. Yeah, _that's_ the only reason. "I'm no slut! You sonofabitchpansymotherfu-!" ... Nope, not spiteful at all.

Suddenly she was on the ground and 15 swords were pointed at my chest. Holly remembered that Jack was going to be in the prison soon so she just rolled my eyes. "Yeah, yeah, OK, i'll go quietly. Can I just say one more thing?"

Norrington hesitated, raised his sword to touch my throat, then nodded.

"I bet you're still a virgin."

**Reader TO DO list round 2**

**1. As usual review 1000000 times**

**2. Buy Ragetti an eyepatch to cover his 'normal' eye**

**3. Find significant evidence that Jack made Cutler Beckett a eunuch**

**4. Ask Jack what he and Beckett were doing to allow him the opportunity to 'make' Beckett eunuch, if evidence is found…**

**5. Dress up as Governor Swann for a day and mimic his movement, while receiving weird looks from his comrades.**

**6. Review again**

**7. Draw a starfish on William Jr's face and gush over how he looks so much like his father.**

**8. Eat more turnips.**

_Are you all as excited for the release of POTC 4 tomorrow as we are? Somewhat bouncing off the walls here, says I! Tell us, how are you going to celebrate? Are you gonna dress up? I can't wait to fall in love with Jack all over again! Oh yeah, you better to that TO DO list up there… :D - Kim_


	6. Jack vs Will, Holly vs Norry Chaos!

**Disney owns the plot, characters and everything in general...we just own Lexi and Holly...now go read the story.**

'Commodore!'

'What? What is it _now_?' Norrington said, frustrated. So many things had gone wrong today and he still hadn't managed to catch that damn Sparrow! He turned, confident that his men could keep that girl on the floor. What he didn't expect was a foot slamming into his back. Then, it was chaos.

All his men surged forward to help him and once again the girl was gone. How did she _do _that? The poor Commodore was so angry that he let out a string of expletives that he never would have otherwise said, particularly in front of his men. How embarrassing. No doubt his men would mock him for a long time to come. Not while he was present, obviously. But he knew they would.

He had to get that girl! She would hang when next daylight came!

'Jack?'

No answer.

'Jaaaaaaaack? Come on, I know you're there! Come on ou-AHH! Jack! Don't sneak up on me like that!'

''Ello Love.'

'Jack! Don't sneak up on me, it's not nice!'

'I'm a pirate. What, if any, part of that screams _nice_ to you?' Jack raised an eyebrow at Holly. 'Actually,' Holly pointed to what he was doing. 'The fact that you're trying to break your handcuffs with a good for nothing hammer. Come here, i'll help you.'

Holly put the chain into the grooves and turned around to the fire. 'No donkeys were harmed in the making of this film.' She reminded herself, but still didn't pick it up. 'This isn't movie!' She dry sobbed. So over-emotional, sometimes, that girl.

Eventually they got the donkey going and Jack could dramatically wave his arms again. 'I was going to do that next…' He muttered. Holly smirked. 'Sure you were.'

Then she remembered the fight coming up and went to grab one of the many swords. It was much, much heavier than she expected. Just by throwing this thing she could do damage!

Suddenly Jack was gone. _Poof._ Holly was about to call out for him when the door opened.

And there Holly was, standing awkwardly in the middle of the blacksmiths, all alone. There was a pause.

'Will!' Holly said. 'Heeeeeeeeeey.' She awkwardly waved at him, trying to come up with a reasonable explanation to why she was here other than the pirate hidden in the back. Will just looked back at her, confused. 'Who are you?'

'Err...You mean you DON'T REMEMBER ME!'

'I'm sorry, I-'

'No, it's fine. It's been a long time. I wouldn't expect you to…' Holly sniffed dramatically. It was fun, Will was looking so apologetic yet so confused at the same time. He was still waiting for an answer.

'I'm your long lost second cousin, twice remov- HOW THE HELL DO YOU DO THIS!' She called to Jack, who was still in the shadows. 'Who are you talking to…?' Will looked a little fearful now. Which was completely understandable.

'Nobody, Will. Absolutely bloody nobody.' Holly sighed.

'I really think you should leave now. Is this your hat?' Will gestured towards Jack's hat and walked over to pick it up. Obviously he didn't put two and two together that she was already wearing a hat. _Oh dear_,Holly thought. _It seems our favorite blacksmith-turned-pirate-turned-soul-ferrier is a bit thick... _

'No, it's-'

Will reached out to grab it but was interrupted by Jack slapping it with his sword. Even without the music, it was still so tense. Holly was tempted to make generic audience noises to lighten the mood. Instead, she completed her sentence.

'… his.'

Will stumbled back, shocked as he took in Jack's appearance. 'The one they're hunting! The pirate! He turned to Holly 'And you! You're….'

Holly shrugged. 'An almost innocent bystander with an obsession with adventure and a fancy for freedom?' She said, hoping he wouldn't ask any more questions. Jack snorted. 'Sounds like a pirate to me.'

'Shut up, Jack.'

'You seem somewhat familiar, have I threatened you before?' Jack asked Will, examining him closely. 'I make a point of avoiding familiarity with pirates.' Will replied in an ugly voice.

'Daddy issues….'

'What?'

'… Nothing.'

'Well then. It would be a shame to leave a black mark on your record, so if you'll excuse me…' Jack put his sword away and turned towards the door. 'Ahem!' Holly crossed her arms and tapped her foot, waiting for acknowledgement. Jack sighed. 'Us…' Although Holly stayed where she was, knowing it was far from over. Will took he sword out with a determined look and pointed it at… her?

Suddenly Will started to bear down on Holly, taking swings at her which she blocked but did not return.

"Will-"

_Clink._

"Will!"

_Clink._

"Don't-"

_Clink._

"You-"

_Clink._

"-Fuck!"

"Such foul language for a non-pirate.." Jack tutted with a smirk. In frustration, Holly threw her sword, which flew past Will's head, narrowly missing, and stuck in the wall behind. Will and Jack looked at her, perplexed. "Where'd you learn a move like that, love?"

"Believe it or not, HIM."

Unfortunately, a throughly confused William Turnip still had a sword. Even more so, it was still pointed at Holly.

'Hey!' Holly yelled, hastily stepping so that Jack was between her and Will. Jack looked mildly annoyed that she was in his way. 'What're you-'

'Turn around.'

Jack turned to find the point of Will's sword at his throat. 'Oh.'

He took out his own sword and meet Will's with a _clink_. 'You think this is _wise_, boy? Crossing blades with a pirate?'

_When it comes to Will, wise isn't really a word I would use… In any circumstance._ Holly thought.

'You threatened Miss Swann!' Will said. If looks could kill, Jack would be dead a hundred times over. 'And he's got closer to your girl Elizabeth than you've ever been!' Holly said out of habit, as she had every time she had watched this scene. Will's jaw slackened. '_What?_'

'Yeah, within, like, 5 minutes. It was quite impressive to watch, actually.' Holly almost laughed at Will's reaction. He looked livid. Jack turned around and gave Holly a charming smile. 'Ta!'

Will let out a positively feral sound and lunged at Jack with his sword. So…. This is what it's like to be in love. Dandy. While Jack was evaluating Turnip's moves, Holly wandered around casually collecting straw into a pile so that she could have a front row seat of the action. She plopped down, wishing she had some popcorn or something to keep her hands busy. 'Run!' Jack said to her, running towards the door. Holly sighed. 'Jack, you aren't going to make it.'

'Says you!'

Holly's scream pierced the air as the sword whizzed by Jack's head. She couldn't help it. Jack attempted to get the sword out of the door as Will stood there, looking smug. 'Oh wipe that look off your face, Will. What're you gonna do now?' Holly tutted. Jack turned. 'The… Lad's right. That is a wonderful trick, but once again you are between me and my way out. And now, you have no weapon!'

'Will, the poker! Grab the poker!' Holly yelled and Jack looked even more annoyed than before. 'Just who's side are ye on?'

Holly shrugged. 'I could ask you the same question.'

As they were fighting, Jack noticed how many swords Will had. 'Who makes all these!' he exclaimed, but before Will could answer, Holly piped up. 'He does, because he has no social life, no love life, no life at all really…. Did I mention he practices with them three hours a day? That's just sad. Although doing mind numbingly boring work seems to fit his intelligence level, so… I guess it works for him.'

'How-' _clink. _'Do-' _clink. '_You-' _clink. '_-Know all this?' Will puffed, looking agitated. Holly pondered it for a second. Shall she be a gypsy? Or tell the truth. She needed more time to think about that. 'It's best you don't know, mate. I'm not sure you can handle it just quite yet..'

'You need to find yourself a girl, mate!' What a pearl of wisdom there, Jack. 'Or… Perhaps the reason you have already found one and are otherwise incapable of wooing said strumpet.'

'Oh, definitely. She's a bit of a slut, to be honest… Although it doesn't look as if you have much to woo her with, anyway…' Holly interjected, giving Jack a very loaded look. Jack caught on. 'You're not a eunuch, are ye?' He asked, daring a glance down there. As Holly exploded in a fit of giggles, Will tried to regain some dignity. As if. 'I practice 3 hours a day so that when I meet a pirate, I can kill it!'

'Keep telling yourself that, William and one day it might actually come true!' Holly said, rolling around in her straw, giggling uncontrollably as the two men started fighting again. They moved onto the wagon and eventually Will and Jack got thrown upwards. 'Huh…' Holly said. 'I was always so sure there were wires attached when they did that… Impressive.'

Eventually they were back down and Jack was backed into a wall. He looked panicked and kicked Will's sword right out of his hand. 'Jack, behind you!' Holly called. Jack grabbed the bag full of… What the hell was that? Saw dust? And pointed the open end towards Will, which Holly had always found quite amusing. Jack took this distraction to point his gun at Will, which signaled the end of the sword fight. 'You cheated!' Will complained.

_Oh, Will.. You're such a whiner sometimes. Actually, make that most of the time…_

'Pirate.' Jack said, as if that explained everything. Suddenly there was banging on the door and it was clear Norrington and his sheep had found them. It's a wonder they didn't start shooting the door, for all the brain power they had between them. Jack nervously started looking for another exit, but Will had realized and was blocking his only way out. 'Move away.' Jack said, brandishing the gun. Will didn't move. 'Please move?'

'Really? Your staring down the barrel of a gun held by a pirate that would more than happily kill you and you say NO? Will, for gods sake, move your ass before I feel inclined to chop your head off!' Holly said, before running over to just beside the door which was being attacked. She had had an idea, because she knew Jack wasn't to get out. At least _she _could have some fun.

'I cannot just step aside and let you escape!' Will said desperately.

'This shot was not meant for you.' Jack said in all seriousness. Instead of using his brain, which he rarely does, Will just stayed where he was and looked confused by what Jack had said. Holly watched in horror out of the shadows of her safe corner, wanting to somehow warn Jack but unable to draw attention to herself. As if on cue, Mr Brown waddled over to Jack and smashed his bottle over the pirate's head. Holly cringed, that would have hurt more than the hangover after Jack's worst night of drinking.

Suddenly the scene was a lot more colourful, as the sheep finally managed to break down the door. Norrington, in all his pompous glory, lead them as they surrounded Jack. 'Excellent work, Mr Brown. You have just assisted in the capture of a dangerous fugitive.' He praised ignorantly, making Will look more than a little bit pissed off. He rolled his eyes when Brown responded with 'Just doin' my civic duties, sir!'

'Well I trust you will always remember this as-'

'Oi, Norry!' Holly yelled and swung on the sack that Jack was hanging from before. She aimed to hit his head, but missed, swinging over to the other side of the room, rapidly losing control of where she was going. 'Woah-Ohhhhhh!' She cried out nervously. Everyone was watching her fail. How embarrassing…

She dropped in the middle of the crowd. 'Heya, Ice Cream Head, how's the back?'

Norrington looked livid. 'Arrest her!' His men moved in on Holly, who grabbed poor Will and hid behind him. 'Help me!' She whispered to him.

'Her?'

Holly took off her hat and bowed, letting her blonde hair fall free. 'Holly Robinson, at your service. Not really, but we can just pretend.'

Holly didn't really expect him to help her. Why would he? So, you can see why she was so surprised when Will said 'You can't arrest him! Err.. Her…. It.' This earned a punch in the back from Holly. Norrington stepped very close to Will, trying to intimidate him. 'It is not your place, Turner, to tell me who I can or cannot arrest.' He said in a warning tone.

'But he… she saved my life!'

'She did?' Norrington looked surprised. 'I did?' Holly asked, just as surprised. 'I mean, I did! Of course I did!' She leant up to Will's ear. 'When did I do this?' Will turned his head slightly towards her. 'If you hadn't reminded me about the poker to use as a weapon, I would most certainly be dead by now. I am in debt to you.'

Good thing Jack didn't hear that..

'Trust me mate, you would've come up with that all on your onesies!' Holly patted him on the back.

'Regardless, she is to be hung for assaulting a navy officer.' Norrington said all snot nosed and smug. Holly couldn't stand it. She poked her head out the side of Will, making sure the rest of her was still covered. 'Tell ya what, Norry, how about we engage in battle, just the two of us? If I win, I get to go free and if you win… Well, you get to see me hang at dawn. Savvy?'

Behind WIll's back, Holly had grabbed his hands and made them like a ledge that she could stand on, which was exactly what she intended on using them as. She had spotted the sand bag she had swung on had come to rest right above Norrington. While he was preoccupied telling her all the reasons why he was being a pansy, she grabbed Will's shoulders and hoisted herself up to slash the rope that was holding the bag. It narrowly missed his head to pound on his foot. He howled in pain and kneeled over, soon writhing next to where Jack's body lay still.

'What's that, James Norrington? You ARE a pansy? Oh, and a virgin too? *gasp* I knew it! Why didn't you just say that from the beginning, it would have saved you a lot of pain!' Holly shouted over the cries, enjoying stirring shit. She was going to pay for this later, but it was so damn fun!

What she didn't expect was Will dropping her and two navy men catching her, increasing to four, one holding each of her limbs and carrying her away. 'What! Will! You back stabbing S.O.B.! You owe me, remember! You owe meeeeeeeeee!'

And just like that, it was over.

**Reader TO-DO list round 3**

**1. REVIEW =D**

**2. Hide Jack's rum.**

**3. Make Jack go on a treasure hunt in order to recapture said rum.**

**4. Commit mutiny aboard one of Jack's rowboats whilst rowing to shore.**

**5. Point and laugh uncontrollably as Jack swims to shore.**

**6. Run for your life.**

**7. Attempt to fix Jack's compass.**

**8. Play ten-pin bowling on the main deck of the Black Pearl, using rum bottles and a cannon ball.**

**9. Review a few more times just for good measure =D**


	7. Lexi Makes An Appearence

**Disclaimer: This is a disclaimer.**

'I've escaped from here once, I can do it again!' Holly yelled as she was tossed into another cell. Jack's unconscious form was unceremoniously dumped next to her. Holly jumped up at shook the bars, attempting to get them loose. When that didn't work, she stood back and karate kicked the bars again and again, refusing to give in to Norrington. She didn't notice when Jack woke up. 'Feisty.' He said from behind her. 'I like it.'

Holly rolled her eyes at his sad attempted at a line. 'Captain Sparrow.' She said, soundly like Elizabeth. 'If you would kindly stop staring at my ass, that would be much appreciated.' She turned around, raising an eyebrow at his sheepish look. 'How'd ye know?' He asked.

'You're just that kinda guy, Jack. The kind that takes every opportunity to either hit on or check out every girl you come across. Females to you are just sex on legs.' Holly sighed, wishing it wasn't that way. Jack squinted. 'How do ye know so much about me, lass? Something's very odd about ye. Where did ye say ye were from, again?'

'I didn't…' Holly said, becoming increasingly nervous, knowing that this could go very bad very fast. She knew that by the end of the trilogy Jack would have no doubt that there was such a thing as supernatural, but for now she didn't know how much experience he'd had with it. If she told him the truth, he may freak out and refuse to take her with him. So she tried to change the subject, rambling nervously. She didn't know what she was saying, really. Verbal diarrhea, they call it.

'Why are we talking about me? What about you? You're supposed to be getting the Black Pearl back and your stuck in this damn cell! Why are you _in _Port Royal, anyway? I mean I know Barbossa left you high and dry on that godforsaken spit of land, but do you really think coming _here _and getting imprisoned is the best way to get your baby back?'

…

_-_

'Now just how d'ye know that?' Jack whispered in an astounded tone. He got up and walked over to Holly, stopping very close to her, who instantly knew that she wasn't getting out of this. She had to come up with something and fast! But what was she supposed to say? The truth? Yeah, right. 'I'm.. I'm… Alright, fine, i'm telepathic.'

'Telpathic?'

'Yeah, I can see into your mind and stuff. Memories, everything like that.' Holly lied fluently. Another reason why she would make such a good pirate. But for now, she was an innocent sailor, bound only for assaulting a navy officer. Jack still looked suspicious, though. 'That doesn't explain how ye knew that I wasn't going to make it out the door before. Ye were so _sure_…'

'You're not that special, Jack.' Holly retorted. 'It isn't only you. I saw that Will was planning to throw the sword. There was no way you were getting out of that door with the sword stuck in there.' She explain, willing like crazy for Jack to buy her cock and bull story. She waited, watching Jack mulling it over. Finally he spoke, leaning even closer to Holly. 'Can you tell what i'm thinking now?' His breath warmed her cheeks. Involuntarily, Holly glanced at Jack's lips. '

'Captain, it doesn't take a telepathic to know what you're thinking.'

Holly's mind was racing as he leant in and-

'Doesn't this look cosy?' Said a voice on the other side of the bars. The two sprung apart, Holly overbalanced and fell over. Jack, gentlemanly as he was, didn't offer Holly a hand up and instead turned to address the striking redhead. 'Who're ye?'

The girl tutted. 'You mean you DIDN'T tell him about me? Really, what have you two been doing? Making out the entire time? Though I guess that would make sense-'

'NO!' Holly jumped up. 'I mean, no, sorry Capt'n Lexi, I haven't. Why don't you introduce yourself? It's not like you've been _here this whole time_….' She gave her friend a pointed look. Lexi rolled her eyes. 'Don't whine, poppet, it just makes you annoying, You don't want to end up like Will, now do you?'

Holly went silent and Jack stepped up to the bars. 'I believe I know you…' He said, earning a 'What!' from Holly and a 'As you should.' from Lexi. 'I'm the second best captain in these waters,' Lexi told him. 'Only to you.'

'You know me?'

'Psh, who doesn't?'

'Uh, Lexi. He doesn't need any help inflating that enormous ego of his…' Holly warned her. She stepped up to the bars beside Jack. 'Where have you been? You just _appear _in pirates clothes with all your effects and everything and push me in the water - ta_ very much_ for that, by the way - and then you're gone. _Poof_. And now, after all this, you just turn up again! You missed the epic sword fight!'

'Settle petal. You'll live. And thanks for reminding me!' Lexi skipped down the stone hallway out of sight. A frown had taken over the whole of poor Jack's face. Holly wished she could tell Lexi not to say anything stupid that might compromise her story, but she definitely couldn't while stuck in this cell. It was then that Lexi returned, holding Jack's effects. 'What're ye doing with those?' Jack asked, hope in his eyes. Too bad Lexi was out to extinguish it. 'Well, Jackie, you're safe in that little cell, but i'm out here in the big bad world with nothing to defend myself with, so I thought i'd just borrow yours-'

'I never said ye could-'

'-Without permission. See, unlike scared-y cat here, i'm perfectly willing to admit that i'm a pirate!'

Jack turned to Holly 'HA! So ye are a pirate, after all!'

'She never said that!'

'Nay. But she implied it-'

'-I don't care if she implied-'

'CHILDREN!' Lexi yelled, making Jack and Holly go quiet. 'Play nice or you won't get your toys.' She produced a bottle of rum from behind her back and dangled it in front of them. You could see Jack's eyes instantly go bright as he licked his lips and reached through the bars to try and grab it, but Lexi stood just out of reach. 'Although, there's a guard just up there and if he sees me giving you this he may boot me in there with the two of you and god knows that'll be the most awkward third wheeling you've ever experienced.' Lexi snickered

. 'I don't drink rum, though… Nasty stuff.' She lazily uncorked the bottle and slowly dripped it onto the floor out of what seemed to be pure boredom. You could see Jack's eyes bugging and he immediately got down his knees and opened his mouth, trying to catch some of the drops on his tongue. He looked absolutely ridiculous! Holly doubled over laughing; she knew Lexi was doing this just for Jack's reaction. Just before Jack actually got far enough to actually get some of his delicious rum, Lexi righted the bottle suddenly. 'Hey, Jack, do you wanna see a trick?'

'You're going to give me that bottle?'

'No silly! I'm going to turn rum into water!' Lexi giggled, as if what he had proposed was completely ridiculous and what she had just said was so not. You should have SEEN the look Holly gave her when she said that. It was somewhere between 'Are you high on air!' and 'You got POWERS?' Either way, her jaw was hanging loose.

Lexi turned around to compose herself for her trick while both cell rats looked on in disbelief. Holly because she didn't think her friend could do it and Jack because he couldn't believe that girl was about to waste all that rum. How dare she!

While her back was turned, Lexi sneakily slid something out of the front of her boot. It looked like the remote to the DVD player in her living room and in fact it _was_. You see, Lexi had taken this remote to Tia Dalma (for a small fee, of course) and now could pause, play, etc the movie _with her still in it. _It was pretty awesome, but needed to be kept guarded, so Holly didn't know about it quite yet. She would someday… Maybe when they got out of here.

She hit the pause button and didn't even bat an eyelid at the fact the world froze around her. She headed up the stairs and out to the pub. She dumped the rum in the sink and filled the bottle with fresh water, then ran back down to where Jack and Holly were… Ah… Waiting. Their expressions were hilarious, exactly the same as they had been when she'd had her back turned. 'You've so much faith in me, dearies.' She muttered as she turned, making sure she was in the same position as she was when she paused. She pressed play on the remote and shoved it back in her shoe.

Lexi turned, waving the bottle around. 'Taa daaaaaa!' She sang. 'It's now water. Tips are greatly appreciated.' She joked. Jack managed to grab the bottle when one of her arms flailed too close. He eagerly opened the bottle and started chugging whatever was in there. The girls watched as his excitement turned to confusion turned to disappointment. He handed the bottle to Holly, who took a swig. Definitely water.

'No applause? That's heartbreaking! Fine, I can tell when i'm unwanted!' Lexi melodramatically stomped to the bottom of the stairs, wondering what she would do next. Maybe annoy Will without letting him see her. Yeah, that sounded like fun. Meanwhile Holly looked at the rum-less moping captain and pleaded with her best friend. 'No! Don't, come on, don't leave me here with him!'

'Consider you wish granted.' Lexi smirked and took her leave, with Jack's effects, of course. Jack instantly perked up. 'I was a wish, was I?' He asked Holly with half-lidded eyes. Holly blushed and turned away, willing herself to not completely loose it.

_Damn Lexi_.

**Barbossa likes Apples, Green Apples**

**Jack likes Bananas, Green Bananas**

**Lexi likes Oranges, Orange oranges**

**However Holly LOVES reviews**

**Be nice to Holly and review =)**


	8. You WHAT?

**Okie dokie, so Lexi owns absolutely everything, and Holly owns nothing JK I have no life, and Walt Disney own the POTC story line, and characters….and we just have the amazing Lexi and that's all we want. Ok maybe we own the soddy sock Holly…..AND THE REMOTE CONCEPT! IT WAS MINE! MY PURE AWESOMENESS MINE!**

**Now. Shoo! Go read the story.**

One thing you should know is that boredom and Captain Lexi Gray don't mix.

Lexi unconsciously pulled the tip of her tongue back into her mouth as she stood up straight and relinquished her death grip on the quill she was holding. She leaned back a little, stretching, as she had been leaning over for quite a while. She looked down and admired her handiwork. 'Well, Will Turner,' she whispered. 'They were right, you do look so much more like your father with a starfish on your face.' She reached down and picked up the seaweed which she carefully placed on his face, as the finishing touch. 'There. Best you've ever looked, says I!'

She heard a quiet chuckle from behind her and turned quickly, but saw no one. 'Holly?' She whisper-yelled. 'Holly! How did you get out of that cell?' When there was no response she went looking. Suddenly she felt the unmistakable cold of a metal sword at her throat. A handsome man stepped out of the shadows, smirking. He had a kind face, almost shoulder length brown hair and enjoyment in those hazel eyes of his. Lexi narrowed her eyes at the intruder. 'You. I should have guessed, hiding in the shadows as usual.'

'Awh, Lex, I deserve a better "hello" than that!' He put away his sword and held his arms out for a mock hug. Lexi stayed where she was. 'Not for the rouge who stole my ship.' She told him. He shrugged and put his hands in his pockets, casually walking over to Will. 'Nice touch.' He complimented the seaweed. It was obvious by the way Will was snoring that he wasn't going to wake up anytime soon. The mysterious man recognized the _click_ of a gun behind him and sighed. 'Lex, is that really necessary?'

'You know never to turn your back on an enemy. And stop calling me that! It's Captain Gray to you.' Lexi spat, closing one eye and aiming straight for his heart. She was so tempted to pull the trigger. The man didn't miss a beat and held his hand over his heart, as if wounded. 'Oh, ouch! Where's your ship then, Captain?'

'I could ask you _exactly _the same question!'

'Well, err..' The man was suddenly nervous, looking down and scuffed the dust around his feet. Lexi holstered her - technically, Jack's - gun and roughly grabbed the guy by his lapels. 'What did you _do_, Tom? Where is she? Where's the Ocean Song?'

'Under the command of Commodore Norrington.' The pirate said through barred teeth. 'I believe you know him.'

'Aye.'

'I came to commandeer it. Well, again.' He let out a breathy laugh that almost made Lexi shake him. He cleared his throat. 'Sorry. Uncalled for. Anyway, I saw you and I couldn't resist. Curiosity and all that..' His look changed slightly and Lexi rolled her eyes.

'Ugh!' Lexi let go of him, causing Tom to stumble a little. 'I can't even go and get it, you swine! I'm in the middle of something.'

'Of course you are. Lexi Gray, always on an adventure. Who're you with now?' Tom looked as if he was trying to be causal, but Lexi knew that he was genuinely interested. 'Oh, just, you know… Captain Jack Sparrow.' Lexi said just as casually. She could see Tom visibly loose composure. 'THE Captain Jack Sparrow? Really? There's so many legends about that guy I was starting to think he was a legend himself…'

'You know what? All of those legends are true. Always have been, always will be.' Lexi smirked. Tom raised an eyebrow. 'Even the ones about sea turtles?' He asked.

''_Specially _the ones about sea turtles!' Lexi said proudly, a little too loud. Will stirred and groaned. 'Get out of here - I'm willing to bet Norry has a warrant out for your arrest!' Lexi shoved Tom towards the door. He turned, so that Lexi's hands were on his chest. 'I was really hoping we could talk about this-' He said, looking down into her steely blue eyes. He was one of the few people who was actually taller than her in this place, though not by much. She shoved him out the door and spoke through the crack before she closed it in his face.

'Get me ship back, _Captain,_ and we can talk all you want!'

A little while earlier, Jack was snoring slightly and Holly was running her fingers very lightly up and down his arm, only brushing the hairs. It wasn't as weird as it seems: Holly was trying to answer the question she had had for years: Was Jack ticklish? It appeared not, so Holly sighed and let her arm drop. This was so _boring_. Nothing like the stories she had read. She looked around her and accidentally caught the eye of one of the pirates leering at her from the other cell. _Awkward. Creepy. Oh fuck. _All crossed her mind at once. She wished she could have Jack scare them off, but since he was in dream-land all she could do was carefully drape his arm - which weighed a ton - over her shoulders. She shut her eyes and tried to pass time by sleeping.

'Lookie what I wake up to…' Jack said, waking Holly up some time later. She was clutching his arm like a treasured toy and resting her cheek against his chest. 'Don't get too big-headed Jack,' she mumbled into his stained shirt. 'I only did it because the pirate in the other cell was eyeing me up like a piece of meat..'

Jack chuckled and put a hand on her hair. 'Sure, tha' be the only reason…' He teased her. She groaned at the loss of her pillow as he stood up and stretched. He looked out the small barred window. 'Won' be long till dawn now…'

Holly shot up. 'WHAT!' She jumped up and looked out the window. She grabbed Jack's arm and shook it. 'Jack! It's night! It's finally night!' She started bouncing on the balls of her feet, excited. That meant soon the Pearl was going to come! Jack looked at her and said 'Ye know, love, sometimes your so strange. I haven't known ye that long, either…'

Holly wasn't paying attention, she was thinking. It took a lot of energy for Holly to think, planning wasn't usually one of her strong points. She knew that this cell wasn't going to be hit by the cannons, but if she could convince the guards to let them switch cells. Getting an idea, she started to undo a few buttons of her baggy shirt. Jack's eyes went wide. 'What're you doing?' He asked, alarmed. Holly spared a moment to glance up at his expression and had to hide an amused smile. 'Don't get excited.' She told him. 'This isn't for you.'

'Really? Coz i'm the only one 'ere…'

That's when Holly whistled loudly, grabbing everyone's attention. 'Oh, guaaaaaaaards!' She sang and reluctantly one trudged up to her. 'Whataya wa- _Oh_.' He stopped talking as his eyes dropped, obviously staring. Holly subtly rolled her eyes and put her hand through the bars and under the guard's chin to guide his eyes back to hers. 'My face is up here.' She told him. 'Now, I was wondering if you could pretty pretty please with a cherry ontop move us to the cell just over there. Having a window in this one makes things a bit chilly….' She batted her eyes, grabbed the front of her shirt and closed her cleavage, trying to make a point, but instead making the guard sulk. 'No can do, little missy.' He told her sternly. 'We're under strict instructions to keep you where you are until th' good Commodore says so.' Then he turned and left, not wanting to risk giving in.

Holly swore under her breath and started to do her shirt up again. Two strong tanned hands grabbed her wrists and she heard Jack say 'Stop. I'm rather enjoyin' the view…'

Holly gave him a look of disgust and continued anyway. 'Pervert.'

'Pirate.' Jack corrected.

**Lexi LOVES people who review. So review if you want to be LOVED!**

_Sorry this chapter was a little more.. Bold than I originally intended. By the way, you may have noticed Lexi seems like she has been here a lot longer than Holly. Well done mate, You're catching on! - Kim_


	9. Goodbye And Good Riddance, Port Royal!

**Disclaimer: Honestly, Do you really think that if we had the money to buy the rights to Captain Jack, you wouldn't be reading this right now?**

'Jack, watch out!' Holly yelled, using her entire body to try and knock him to the ground. The wall behind them exploded, which surely would have hit Jack had he still been standing there. They stood and glumly watched as the other prisoners escaped, as their cell had been blown open. Holly heard giddy laughing as the prisoners who were doomed to the gallows tasted freedom once more. Holly never thought she;d be _this_ annoyed to watch them go. One of the prisoners turned to address them. 'My sympathies, friends.' The pirate said. 'You've no manner of luck at all.'

Holly rolled her eyes. 'Yeah, yeah, keep it moving.'

Jack spotted something in the other cell that made his eyes brighten a bit. He reached through to grab a bone and held it up for inspection. Then he strode across and stuck his hand through the bars and whistled. 'Come on, doggy.. It's just you and us now, it's you and ol' Jack, come on now…' Holly didn't even bother to correct him, wondering if he had had more time, would this plan have worked. Jack continued to try and tempt the dog and Holly sighed. 'Weren't you the one that said that _didn't_ work, Jack? It's not going to work anyway-'

'Says you!'

'No, says them!'

As if on cue (which, of course, they were) the two pirate goons from Barbossa's crew came in with a bang, more specifically a guard thrown down the stairs. Holly quickly bunched her hair up into her hat which had come off in the explosion. She did not want to be called Jack's wench. The goons came down the stairs, looking and Jack's eyes darkened with recognition.

'This ain't the armory!'

It was at this point every time she watched the movie that Holly would say 'No shit, Sherlock.' but she figured that now that they could actually hear her, that wouldn't be the best idea. So she sat back and waited for the scene to take its course. 'Well, well, well… Look wha' we have 'ere, Twigg. Captain Jack Sparra!' One of them, said then spit disgustingly down at Jack's feet. The other pirate looked rather amused that Jack was on the other side of the bars. 'Las' time we saw ye, ye were on a godforsaken spit of land, shrinkin' into the distance. His fortunes ain't improved much.' He told his partner. Holly couldn't help but snort. She instantly regretted it.

'Summat be amusing ye over there, lad?'

Holly decided to follow this one through. After all, she was still safely behind the bars. 'Yeah, try marooning him again. Coz that worked out so well last time!'

The pirates gave her a confused look and Twigg asked 'Who are ye?' To which Holly just shrunk back, deciding that she had said quite enough. Jack stepped in front of her and for a moment Holly thought he was going to say something like 'If you touch her, you're dead.' Or something to that effect. No such luck.

'Tell ye wha'. If ye get me outta here, ye can have her. Quite feisty too, that one!'

'JACK!'

Jack turned and the look he gave her said it all: _Pirate_.

Holly slumped back, fuming. 'Her?' Twigg asked. Jack strode over and grabbed Holly by the arm, forcing her up. 'Jack- Sparrow- You are SUCH- a dick!' Holly spat towards him. He was going to trade her! He shrugged. 'I've been called worse.' He took off her hat and her golden hair came tumbling down. 'See lads? All woman. Now if ye'd do the honors..'

'Go to hell, Jack Sparrow. Damn you all!' Holly yelled, trying to stamp on his foot.

'Actually, love, I heard the deepest circle of hell is reserved for betrayers and mutineers.' He gave the goons a look which made Koehler… or whatever his name was… reach through the bars. It was interesting, Jack was being choked while trying to keep Holly still. It was almost like a chain. But that wasn't the most interesting thing - Koehler's hand and arm had become skeletal in the moonlight, as expect. When you watch it on TV, it's thrilling. When you see it a few inches from your face, much less so. More disturbing than anything, really.

'Ye know nothing of hell.'

'Actually, I believe i'm already there.' Said Holly, wondering how Twigg got the keys to the cell. There was no use in screaming, the guard was dead. Twigg unlocked the door and they grabbed Holly and just as Jack was about to walk out, they slammed the door in his face. 'I think ye can stay there for jus' a bit longer.' Twigg laughed. 'Thanks fer the wench, _Captain_!' They laughed as they dragged Holly up the stairs.

'I AM NO WENCH!'  
_

Lexi had spent quite a while wondering how she was going to wake Will up. He had gone back to being peaceful after that troublemaker had left, thank goodness. Unfortunately most of the most brilliant ways ended with Will incapacitated, in pain, or worse - so Lexi settled on just dumped the coldest bucket of water she could find on his head. _3… 2… 1…. _

'AHHHHHHH!'

'Really? NO swear words? After all that thinking! What a waste of my valuable time!' Lexi huffed. 'Well, up and at 'em, Mr Turner! We got a town to save! Or rather… I do.' Lexi snickered, remembering that Will gets knocked out. Will heard the commotion outside and sprang up, grabbing his sword. 'I don't know who you are, but thank you.' He told Lexi, opening the door. Lexi stood there, stunned for a moment._ Thank you? I throw water on your head and you say "thank you"!_

She followed Will outside and drew her own sword. This was one of her favorite parts about being a pirate: kicking ass. Even though these pesky pirates couldn't die, it was still satisfying to see them in pain. She was about to follow Will into battle when she heard an interesting cry.

'LEXI!'

She turned to see Holly being hauled to the Black Pearl by two of her least favorite characters. How the hell did that happen? 'You're supposed to be safe - In a cell!' She called to her best friend, following them.

'SHUT UP AND SAVE ME!'

Lexi rolled her eyes. 'Need you ask?' She snuck up behind Twigg and hit him on the back of the head. He sluggishly fell and Koehler turned angrily, sword in hand. Not wanting to get into combat with Holly so close, Lexi took a step back and swung her sword. After a couple of orations, she thrust her arm forward and let go. With the momentum she had created, her sword embedded itself in the pirate's stomach, just as he was lunging at her. He cried out in pain and let go of both his sword and Holly landing next to his partner. 'Grab his sword- let's go.' Lexi told Holly, sliding her own sword out and wiping it on the pirates' breeches. Then she took off, weaving through the bloody crowd, trying to find Will. Holly followed her like a puppy, not wanting to be in the same situation twice.

'Where'd you learn that move?'  
_

The next morning, back at the blacksmith's, Lexi was sitting next to an unconscious Will, slapping his face lightly.

'C'mon Will.. Wake up… I can slap you harder, but Elizabeth may ask questions…'

'Maybe we should just leave Jack there.' Holly said broodingly, still sore over what happened the night before. 'He deserves it. He can get out himself.' She slumped against the wall and put her head on her knees. Lexi stood up, sick of this.

'Oi!' She said, causing Holly to look up. 'Stop thinking that Jack Sparrow is your knight in shining armor! He is a _pirate_, nothing more, nothing less. He's not going to come after you, save you, or anything. He's going to take what he wants and leave. That's what a pirate does, you of all people should know that. These false expectations are just going to let you down, like now. Remember, this is the very start of the trilogy. Jack hasn't even been called a "good man" yet, nor _can _he be called one. Just settle petal, you can kick him in the nuts when you see him, but don't brood over it.' Lexi huffed, finally finished with her speech. _I learnt that the hard way_.

Holly looked amused at the thought of kicking Jack in the nuts. 'Okay. You're right. Let's go.' She sprang up, heading towards the door. Lexi sighed 'Holly - the whelp? We need him, remember?'

SLAP!

'AHHHHHHHHHH!'

'Now we can go!' Holly rubbed her now red hand and skipped towards the door.  
_

'So you're saying we need to save Jack Sparrow?' Will asked, with flame in his eyes. Elizabeth had been taken, by pirates no less.

'Yes but do you really think Norrington would agree to that? You have to think these things through, Will. You're the only one that can save Elizabeth! With our help, of course - and Jack's.' Lexi convinced him. They were spying on Norrington who was surrounded by all his best men and the Governor. He was limping, Holly saw with satisfaction.

_Why was Norrington still here? He should be off after them! Why wasn't he doing something?_ Will thought angrily. He left the girls behind, storming up to Norrington. 'They've taken her! They've taken Elizabeth!'

It seemed Norrington had just as much patience as everyone else for Will's stating of the obvious. 'Mr Murtogg, remove this man!' He continued scrutinizing the map lazily. Will resisted. 'We have to hunt them down. We must save her!' He almost yelled, furious that Norrington was taking this so lightly. The governor shifted, rather looking like an angry bird, ruffling it's feathers. 'And where do you propose we start? If you have any information concerning my daughter, please, share it!'

Will stalled for a moment, you could almost see something get stuck in the clogs in his head. He realized that he didn't know anything more about Elizabeth's whereabouts than Norrington did and in the nicest way, because everything about Will is _nice_, he was really pissed off about it. 'Jack Sparrow knows.' He blurted out, just repeating what Lexi told him, not knowing if it was actually true. Norrington almost rolled his eyes. 'Mr Turner, are you suggesting we collaborate with a pirate?'

'Well it's better than standing around doing nothing! She could be dead by now!'

'T-that Jack Sparrow.' One of the guards stuttered, almost fearful. 'He talked about the Black Pearl.'

'Mentioned is more what he did.' The other guard corrected. It occurred to Holly if Will had taken the guards' word for it and thought Jack didn't really know anything about it, then he might have never gone after Elizabeth. Jack would be hanged and Norrington would indeed be too late. Stupid guard! Good thing Will was at least smart enough to figure that one out. As it was, Will was liking that the conversation was finally going where he wanted it to. 'Ask him where it is! Make a deal with him, he could lead us to it.'

Trust Norrington to blow it.

'No,' He said, sounding almost bored. 'The pirates that invaded this Fort left Sparrow in his cell. Ergo, they are _not_ his allies. Governor, we will establish the most likely course?' He asked, apparently done with the conversation. In the bushes, Holly shifted. Lexi grabbed her shoulder, forcing her to stay where she was. 'Down, girl.' She told her. 'You'll get your chance. Again.'

'But he's being so _useless_! He's being such an Ice Cream Head! Melted, mushed, dripping, ice cream…' Holly muttered, complaining. Lexi then reminded her that if she got herself hanged today, she would miss all the action. That certainly kept her in her place.

THUMP!

'That's not good enough!' Will yelled, finally losing his temper. One of the few redeeming lines for poor William. Norrington sighed, more annoyed at Will had thew his hatch into his map than at the fact Will was yelling at him. He removed the hatchet from the table and limped around to Will. 'Mr Turner, you are not a military man, you are not a sailor. You are a black smith.' Norrington told him, drawing out the last word to remind him how low rank his job was. 'Do not make the mistake that you are the only one here that cares for Elizabeth.' He said ignorantly, thinking that he was so much closer to winning Elizabeth's heart by asking for her hand in marriage, when her love really lay with the blacksmith.

Knowing that Norrington wasn't going to change his mind, Will stormed out, past the girls, who stealthily followed him down to the jail. It was finally time to go.

They made quick work of sneaking past the new guard, running down the steps to find Jack lying in his cell, appearing to be sleeping, with a bone sticking out of his cell lock. 'That never works mate, trust me.' Lexi told him. Jack opened one eye and said. 'It's the rum waster! And the eunuch! And.. Oh, bugger.'

'Hello Jack.' Holly said, crossing her arms. She didn't quite have the power over this situaton as she wanted, but she had enough to make Jack nervous. 'Love, I can explain-'

'Don't bother. She's already forgiven you. Not really, but you guys have to play nice for now. Right, Holly.' Lexi turned to her friend who grunted in agreement, most unladylike. 'You better watch your back though Sparrow, you really pissed her off.' Lexi warned him. He tipped his had to her as a thank you.

'Are you familiar with the ship, the Black Pearl?' Will asked. Jack checked his nails. 'I've 'eard of it.' He said, trying to be coy. Holly was frustrated, tired, hungry, pissed off and wanted to get off this port. So you can understand why she didn't have much patience for Jack's games….

'For gods sake, Jack, meet William, he wants to go after Barbossa to rescue Lizz…Elizabeth - yes he has a girl, but was too pussy to go after her until now. William, meet Captain Jack Sparrow, who can most certainly help you with your problem. But he just can't help you if he's stuck in a cell. Savvy?' Holly explained. When Will looked confused, as if trying to figure something out, Lexi leaned in and whispered 'Half pinned barrel hinges, mate.'

'Well said, lov… Holly!' Jack praised her and stood up, dusted himself off and stuck his hand through the bar. 'Mr Turner, do we have an accord?' Will reluctantly shook his hand but looked happier now that they were actually going after Elizabeth. He worked the bench into the holes in the cell and pulled down with all his strength. The bars lifted and Jack was finally free. His look of accomplishment was cut short by a strong slap by Holly. Lexi giggled, following Will out.

'From what i've heard, you _totally _deserved that!'  
_

When you are underwater, everything becomes eerie. Multiply that by 100 and you've got what it's like to be inside an upside down dingy. Will, Lexi, Holly then Jack all bunched inside, hoping their air wouldn't run out before they got to the ship. 'Jack,' Holly said suddenly, over her mood now that he had had a good slap. 'How did you get this idea, anyway?'

'French man taught it to me.'

'Ah.' Lexi said. 'The French.' Had her hands not been occupied keeping the boat down, Lexi would have curled her imaginary French mustache. 'Inventors of mayonnaise.'

'What's mayonnaise?' Will asked. Lexi sighed. 'Dude, you just killed it.'

CRUNCH.

'Aw, Will! Why don't you watch where you're stepping!' Holly complained loudly, making everyone else wince in the small space. She lowered her voice. 'Sorry. But that… whatever that thing is.. Is connected to a rope connected to a barrel which is now floating randomly above us with no apparent cause. People are going to notice.'

'Good thing we're 'ere then, ain't it?' Jack said, signaling for everyone to take a deep breath and swim up. Then they started their great descent up the back of the ship. How-do-you-do this, Jack? This is torture!' Holly whisper yelled. Jack sighed and lowered himself back into the water. ''ere, let me...' He said. Holly put her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist. He hoisted her out of the water and carried her on his back as he scaled the ship. 'What about "any man who falls behind, stays behind?"' Holly whispered in his ear. 'You're not a pirate, love. It doesn't count.' He told her in a low voice. 'But I strongly disagree with tha' statement.'

Holly was going to ask which statement, but they had reached the top. It was time to put their plan into action. Holly unsheathed her sword and tried her best to look intimidating. 'Everyone stay calm, we are taking over the ship!' Jack cried, waving his pistol. 'Aye Avast!' Will yelled too. Lexi called to him as the crew yelled. 'Will, you should really leave being cool and everything like that to Jack… He's much better at it.'

'This ship cannot be crewed by two men-'

'Hey!'

'-you'll never make it out of the bay!' Gillette laughed. Holly made a face. She'd never liked Gillette much. He was always so creepy, for some reason. He was also so stuck up, too. Ugh. Jack aimed his pistol between Gillette's eyes and cocked it. 'Son,' He said. 'I'm Captain Jack Sparrow, savvy?'

No further explanation was needed.

After they had pitched the crew off the side (in a dingy, relax) Jack turned and said to Will. 'Look like your doing something. Make it BIG.' He flapped his arms around for emphasis. 'You two. Hide.'

'Here they come!' Will called. Jack looked back and smiled.

_Show time.  
_ _

'Search every cabin, every hold, down to the bilges.' Norrington said in his most commanding voice. His men scattered like scared insects, spreading out all over the ship. He wasn't going to let these pirates get away with his ship. That Will Turner had overstepped the line, letting them escape. He should be hanged with the rest of them. Speaking of, Norrington noticed the pirates and one he had not encountered before swing across to his beloved Interceptor. 'Sailors, back to the Interceptor! NOW!' He yelled, alarmed.

But it was too late. They had cut every rope connecting the two ships together and the pirates were on their way. One of them waved at him. He squinted, noticing it was that little brat from earlier. Sailing out of range on _his_ ship. 'Hey Norry! How're your toes? You should really pay more attention next time! See ya!'

On the other ship, Lexi turned to Holly who crouched down next to her once more. 'Did you just cackle?' Lexi asked, amused. 'You seemed to be enjoying this a whole lot….'

'Yeah..' Holly giggled. 'Yeah, Norrington will never be the same again. You know, I don't think Ice Cream Head has been called a virgin before, which is odd because it's totally true…'

'Who's Ice Cream Head?' Will asked, confused.

'Norrington.' the two girls said in unison.

'Fitting…' pondered Jack with a thoughtful expression.  
_

Lexi was always a curious spirit. The fact that she had a burning sense of adventure too didn't hurt. It was really no wonder she fit into this world so well - It was like she was made for it! Except for glitter eyeliner. She really missed that.

It was a few hours on and Jack was at the helm, Will was sharpening his sword, Holly was asleep in the sun and Lexi was BORED. So Lexi went adventuring. She explored below deck, finding that the only real bedroom was the Captain's Quarters. Hmmmm… She may have to fight Jack for that, one day. It was mostly storage space for explosives and whatnot. She found the galley, with not much in it. She grabbed a few biscuits and stuffed them in her pockets to give to the others. She then intended to head back above deck, but she noticed some stairs she hadn't yet set foot on, leading further down. _The Rum Cellar._

May as well. Humming to herself, she leaped down the small set of stairs. It was just like she imagined, walls covered in holes for bottles. Unlike the Pearl, it was mostly full. Probably because the only person that would have the keys to this place is the Captain and being an honest sailor and all..

_Wait._

Then how was she in here? She didn't need a key, she just pushed the door open. She went back and inspected the door closely. It was definitely sabotaged… Maybe it was Jack? Or maybe-

She heard a creak behind her and grabbed the dagger strapped to her thigh. As soon as she turned and saw the silhouetted figure of a man she didn't take any chances, kicking him in the chest so that he hit the wall behind him. She quickly stabbed her dagger into his coat and shirt, pining him to the wall. She went to draw her sword but the figure wheezed. 'Lex…'

Lexi squinted. 'Tom?'

'Aye…'

'What the hell are you doing here! You're not supposed to be here! How did you get here!' Lexi ranted, immediately aware that the course of the story may be changed because of him. He couldn't be here. Tom let out a weak laugh, still catching his breath. 'You really think I would miss one of your grand adventures? Alas, when you mentioned Jack Sparrow that made me want to go all the more…'

'But you can't be here!'

'Although it appears I already am. Unless you're willing to throw me overboard, you really have no choice in the matter.'

'That can be arranged...'

His hazel eyes sparkled with mirth, for he knew there was no way Lexi was going to throw him overboard without jumping in after him. Lexi paced, looking as if she was going to say something several times but rethought it. Using her distraction as an advantage, Tom tried to pry the dagger from the wood, but it was stuck deep. 'A bit of help would be nice!' He said finally, sighing. Lexi stopped and smirked at him. 'Nah, I like watching you struggle.'

Annoyed, Tom put both hands on the handle and tried to get the dagger out vigorously. Lexi just stood there and silently laughed at him. Finally, he gave up. 'Lex-i…' He whined. Lexi matched his tone, mocking him.. 'Thom-as….'

'Help me out?'

She risked stepping a little bit closer to him. 'Nope.' She said happily. He eyed her. 'Oh, so it's going to be like that, eh?' He joked, hoping this was leading where he wanted it to go. To his complete surprise, Lexi stuffed a stale biscuit in his mouth. 'Someone will find you… Eventually. Probably Captain Sparrow. What an introduction that'll be!' She whispered to him, quirking an eyebrow. She ran to the door, turned quickly and said:

'Just… Hang in there.'

**Yo Ho Yo Ho A pirates life for me**

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**She sings and outwits with flaming red hair.**

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	10. Punishment

**Disclaimer: Captain Jack, Will, and Elizabeth and the plot line are not mine (along with Batman, Robin, Wonder Woman, Coke, or Cadbury - Sad, sad world it is..), and neither is the Black Pearl, unfortunately. If I did own that fabulous ship, I would paint it hot pink while Jack isn't looking.**

'Lookie! Biscuits!' Lexi said, emerging from below deck. She tossed two at Holly and then lay down, stretching out in the sun. 'Go feed your hottie.' She smirked. Holly made a "ha-ha-very-funny" look at her but went up to the helm anyway, stuffing one of the biscuits in her pocket. Jack saw her coming and called out 'Would've thought ye'd 'ave had enough of me by now, love. Back fer more?' He smirked. Holly rolled her eyes. 'You looked lonely. I was bored. So sue me.'

That's when Jack noticed what she was chewing on. 'Where'd you get that?' He said, suddenly feeling rather hungry. Holly shrugged. 'Lexi found them below deck.' Holly broke off another piece and Jack reached out to grab but Holly threw it in her mouth. She gave Jack a stern look and even dared waving a finger in front of his nose. 'No. My biscuit!'

Convinced he could just reach out and grab it, Jack tried but was shoved back by Holly. 'Nuh uh uh uh uh uh!' She sang, holding her biscuit just out of reach. 'Ow - Jack don't grab me! Bad Jack!' Jack finally gave up after a minute or two and went back to looking where he was going, without saying a word. Holly couldn't help but smirk, turning her back on Jack and slowly walking further away, fully expecting him to grab her around the waist or something of that effect. What she didn't expect was Jack to turn the wheel sharply, causing the boom to swing sharply over… Straight into Holly. With a resulting 'Oof!' and a scream, Holly let go of her biscuit and clutched the boom for dear life. Jack, in perfect Jack-timing, caught the flying biscuit and took a bite. 'Ta!'

Lexi and Will, hearing the scream, came running. It took only a second for Lexi to double over laughing and even Will chuckled a bit. 'This isn't funny! Take me back, Jack! I'm not as strong as Will!'

Meanwhile, Lexi had stopped laughing and snuck up to stand onto of the mast. She grinned evilly and Holly saw.

'LEXI- DON'T YOU DAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!' Holly screamed as Lexi started jumping on the mast. Lexi had always wanted to do this to Will, but now Holly was in his place, it was _so_ much better. Eventually she took pity on her, stepping down so that Jack could swing the mast back. Except… He didn't.

'Learnt yer lesson?' He called out to the poor hanging ragdoll of a girl.

'Oh, GOD. This was a lesson!' Holly screamed exasperatedly.

'Aye. Don't tease the Captain!' Jack smirked at her. If Holly wasn't so preoccupied, she would have had a smirk to match it. 'But teasing can be so much fun!'

Jack crossed his arms in a lazy fashion and leant against the wheel, silently watching her as a gust caught the sail and shook the boom violently. 'FINE!' Holly squeaked. 'Fine! No teasing the Captain! NOW PUT ME DOWN.'

Jack obediently turned the wheel and Holly came crashing down on deck. Now finished the biscuit, Jack offered her a hand up. Convinced he had now had his fun, Holly took it, but did not make eye contact with him and walked away as soon as she was standing. Jack watched, only mildly upset as Lexi made 'Oooooooooo!' sounds. When she was safely far enough away from Jack, the captain saw Holly pull another biscuit out of her pocket.

_That bloody wench!_

A while later, Jack left WIll in charge of the helm (not long enough to crash into anything, of course) and went scouring for rum. He _needed_ rum. He hadn't managed to get any while he was locked up in Port Royal and he was hoping some of his liquid gold would be in the cellar of this otherwise very barren ship. He walked in and was delighted to see that the ship was stocked full with various different types of alcohol. Now all he had to do was find the rum!

'Rum is down the very end.' A voice said. 'Ta!' Jack replied and started walking. Then he realized that voice didn't sound like the one in his head. Drawing his sword, he turned around and saw no one. Confused, he sheathed his sword and went looking. Eventually he found the young man…. hanging… on the wall?

'Who are ye n what're you doing, hanging there?' Jack asked him, drawing his sword again and pointed it at the boy's throat. The boy didn't show any fear at being threatened and replied calmly. 'My name is Captain Thomas Sharpe. I'm the captain of the Ocean Song.'

'Nev'r heard of it…' Jack pondered, trying to recall if he had ever heard of such a ship. 'If you're the captain, where is your ship?' He asked suspiciously.

'Norrington took it.'

'Ah. Bloody Norrington.' Jack said, feeling safe enough to turn around and get his beloved rum. The boy called out 'I want to join you with whatever you're doing.' Jack rolled his eyes. 'You want to join us and you don't even know what we're doing?'

Behind him, the boy shrugged. 'It's better than being hanged.'

Jack grabbed a bottle of rum and swaggered back to Tom, stopping very close to him. 'Do you have the courage and fortitude to follow orders and stay true in the face of danger and almost certain death?' He asked with staggering speed.

Tom looked slightly alarmed. 'Uhh… Aye?'

'Good answer.' Jack then tried to pull the dagger out, but ended up having to put his rum bottle down and use both hands. 'Who put this in here?' He grunted as he finally got it out.

'Lexi.'

'You know her?'

'Who doesn't?'

Jack made a vague noise of agreement, grabbed his rum bottle and lead the way above deck.

Meanwhile, Lexi was helping Holly practice her fencing. Lexi had always been better than Holly in their fencing classes and now Lexi owned a beautiful sword which she claimed to have stolen off Gillette when they were at Port Royal. They were speeding up; swords making metal clangs and scrapings as they started to have a full out battle. While praising Holly, Lexi was slightly amused at how flourishing her movements were. She certainly liked to spin, sword above head, hair blowing in the wind. As cool as it looked, Lexi didn't think this would save Holly from an undead pirate.

Will was glad of the peace of being over the other side of the ship but was also bored. He hated waiting, he wanted to save Elizabeth. Although this was better than being a sitting duck in Port Royal, it was still painful thinking what those pirates could be doing to her. While admist his thoughts, he noticed one of the ropes holding a sail was coming loose and he tried to yell to the girls, whose fighting now looked impressive to say the least. His voice was lost to the strong wind and he cursed, putting the rope over the wheel and going to secure the rope himself.

'That was really good!' Lexi puffed, red faced. 'I think you're ready to fight some undead bastards!' She laughed. A thought crossed her mind as Holly happy danced (probably not the best idea with a sword). 'That's not how they fight in the movies though! I took this stunt course once, they did sword fighting and it was like this.' She made huge, exaggerated and slow movements, making a face to go along with it just to make Holly laugh. It worked. 'You look ridiculous!' Holly giggled. 'Teach me!'

Gotta love your friends, eh?

'Okay, follow my lead, pull your sword down slowly, now to the right - no _your _right, genius… Okay now place your other hand on the hilt, and quickly, slice left!' Holly did so, but did not see Will behind her and accidentally hit him. Except she was putting so much focus and energy into what she was doing that she hit quite… Hard. Unfortunately for Will (and fortunately for Holly) he was very close to the rail and the force actually pushed him overboard. Luckily, his reaction speed was better than his intelligence and he managed to grasp the rail before he was flung into the sea.

'Heeeeeeeeeeeelp!' He yelled, trying to hoist himself up. Holly gasped and felt incredibly guilty for about 5 seconds, then she narrowed her eyes at him. She crossed her arms. 'I'm not helping him!' she announced. Lexi couldn't believe her ears. 'What!' She rushed over to attempt to haul Will up. 'Why not!' She yelled backwards to the dark haired girl.

'Will was supposed to be the once that was swung overboard before. This is payback.' Holly said bitchily, turning her back on the whole scene.

'Are you saying that you planned this?'

'Next time Jack does something amazing, ask him the same question. I guarantee you won't get a straight answer from him either.' Holly smirked and Lexi huffed, becoming more and more panicked because it was clear that Will was too heavy to haul up on her own and Jack was nowhere in sight. Thankfully, Jack emerged from below and saw them, looking mildly alarmed.

'Jack!' Lexi yelled. 'Holly hit Will and he fell overboard! I can't pull him up!' Lexi was enraged when he shrugged. 'Well if she hit him that hard, he probably deserved it!' He called back to her. 'Pirates' code…' he muttered. Then he realized that if Will was hanging overboard, no one was at the helm. 'Bloody Whelp!' He yelled. 'If ye weren't already hangin' there, i'd toss ye over myself!'

Lexi decided to remind everyone why they couldn't just chuck Will overboard. 'Jack, do you expect to get-' She stopped talking when strong hands grabbed onto Will's other shoulder. 'Let me get that for you.' Said a instantly recognizable voice behind her. Together her and Tom hoisted Will up, who sprawled out on deck. He rolled over onto his back and looked up at his rescuer. 'Thanks!' He huffed. '…Who are you?'

Lexi folded her arms and raised an eyebrow. 'Uhhh… Captain… Thomas Sharpe, at your service…' He pronounced himself meekly, well aware that Lexi was killing him with her thoughts for saying "Captain". Holly was looking mindblown that this very good looking stranger had turned up out of nowhere, on a boat way out to see… And Lexi seemed to _know_ him? Whether she would actually admit to that or not, Holly wasn't sure. But that wasn't going to stop her from asking. She sauntered over to Jack, who was looking annoyed with his compass.

'Jack… Do you know that man?' Holly asked him. 'Nay, jus' met him a few minutes ago.' Jack replied, not looking up. 'How'd you meet?' Holly asked curiously, watching the couple who seemed to be arguing. 'I found 'im.'

'…..What? Where?'

'Captain!' Lexi's voice rang out. 'I believe you have a stowaway aboard!'

'I know ye think so, love, ye were the one tha' pinned him to the wall of the bloody rum cellar, the poor bastard!'

'….WHAT?'

'… It was self defense! He snuck up on me! He still doesn't have any right to be aboard, he should have announced himself!' She narrowed her eyes at Tom. 'He's a stowaway, Jack. He should be punished for being aboard without permission!'

'Well,' Said Jack. 'We can either throw him over board or whip him. Your choice.'

'I choose locking him in the brig!' Lexi announced, grabbing Tom by the arm and dragging him below. 'No- I don't-' Tom started, his voice faded as they went further below deck.

'Damn.' Jack said. 'I was really hoping she would throw 'im overboard.'

'Come on, is this really necessary?' Tom whined. He suddenly overpowered Lexi (as he could have done anytime, he was much stronger than her) and pushed her against the wall using his whole body. 'Why didn't you take the whip? I know you would have liked that.'

Lexi smirked. 'Yeah, I should have. Recently, I have come to like seeing you in pain. A missed opportunity, says I. But no matter. I'll see you in pain when I get my ship back and maroon you on a godforsaken spit of land.'

Tom pushed off the wall either side of Lexi, releasing her from the weight of his body. 'Way to kill the mood.' He mumbled. He wished he could express to Lexi how much he regretted that, but that wouldn't be very pirate-y of him. He sighed and allowed her to lead him to the cell. 'You wouldn't do that to me.' He told her.

'Oh wouldn't I? You know these days, people refer to me as a pirate.'

'And a very sexy pirate you are. Fierce too.' Tom said, admiring her not so subtly.

'It the hair. It's always the hair….. But flattery will get you nowhere.' Lexi told him, jingling the keys in front of his face. He swiped for them, but she was expecting that and moved the keys out of reach. She opened the cell door but as she was turning back to face him he grabbed her arm and twisted, getting the keys from her and rendering her helpless. She was still facing away from him, so he whispered in her ear. 'Flattery might not, but strength gets me all kind of places.' He then gave her a swift kiss on her freckly cheek and pushed her forward into the cell. Before she could compose herself he slammed the door and locked her in.

She groaned loudly. 'How long are you going to keep me here!'

'Until you forgive me. Or kiss me. I'm not all that fussy.' He smirked. 'Or you could just wait until we get to Tortuga.'

'How long is that?'

'About 3 days or so.' Tom struggled not to laugh.

'_UGH_!'

**Dear loyal readers, hello. I haven't had a chance to talk to you in a while. Lexi is currently busy (locked in a cell) so i'm taking over the A/N for this chapter. I just want to apologize for how long it took to get this chapter out. It's kind of a dud, i'm not gonna lie. Hopefully the next chapter will be better. Trust me, we've got lots of great ideas for later chapters! I hope you'll stay with us. You will? That's great! More Lexi and Tom for you then! You can tell how much I like this couple. You gotta let me know if you like Tom/Lexi better or Holly/Jack. I think it's just refreshing to have an OC couple that fits so well in this world. Also, what would a celebrity couple name for Tom and Lexi be? I'm interested in what you come up with. As I said before, Lexi will be back to entertain you next chapter!**

**- Kimberley Francisca**


	11. Trouble In Paradise

**Disclaimer: We can own rum, but we can never own Jack. It's a pity, they should come as a two for one package.**

'Welcome to Tortuga!' Jack announced with a large sweeping gesture, as if it was something to be proud of. It was the home of pirates, obviously so. Holly was standing next to him, making a face and holding her nose, saving herself from the worst of the stench of rum, sweat and sex . Her hair was securely hidden in a leather hat Jack found aboard and to her embarrassment her breasts were bound, covered in a baggy man's shirt coupled with man's breaches. Her feminine features in her face were the only tells that she could even slightly be a women.

As a man, she wasn't very intimidating. She was shorter than most girls, let alone male pirates. She was a lot stronger than she looked though, which is possibly the only thing keeping her alive through her pirate ventures. Will was wearing a expression of great distaste, meanwhile both Lexi and Tom were trailing behind them looking perfectly comfortable. Lexi was strutting her stuff, fiery hair billowing behind her. Holly turned and gave Lexi a jealous look. 'How come you don't have to wear a disguise? You're a girl, too!'

This complaint earned Holly several impatient looks from all directions. Holly decided to shut up when Jack leaned over to her. 'I think you'll find, love, tha' old Lexi commands her own respect from the rogues here. Unexpectedly, Jack threw a heavy arm over her shoulders, pulling her to him.

'You however, stay close.'

'Hmph.'

'I can't wait to get out of this hell hole.' Holly grumbled, sitting down at the bar. Jack was hidden away with Gibbs, Will was almost being molested and Lexi and that guy were being just as secretive as Jack was. They were sitting at a table in the corner, away from the main noise, covered by darkness. Holly narrowed her eyes, watching them over her shoulder. It was obvious they knew each other, but _how_? Lexi hadn't been here any longer than she had and yet they looked as if they had known each other for years, so comfortable in each other's presence. Holly wondered if there was anything between them. She'd have to remember to corner Lexi later. She turned back to focus in front of her and found a barmaid staring at her. 'I don't drink.' Holly told her. She huffed and walked away, yelling at the more rowdy drinkers.

Holly felt a hand on her shoulder and turned expecting to see Jack, but instead found Gibbs. 'Evenin' Missy.' He took a seat next to her. This caused Holly to take a rather comical double take. 'How did you know I was a girl?' She asked him; though instead of answering, Gibbs just snorted and ordered another drink. Holly took this opportunity to look around for Jack, but he was nowhere to be seen. So much for staying close.

Gibbs was watching her. 'You look… pathetic.' he admitted honestly. Holly's eyes went ablaze. 'You look like you need someone to protect you.' he finished quickly, seeing her anger. 'I could help with tha'…'

Was Gibbs… Hitting on- EW. No.

'No thanks.' Holly scoffed. 'I've already got someone for that.'

'Eh?'

'Jack. Jack Sparrow.' Holly told him, watching his eyes widen in surprise. 'Jack didn' tell me he had a lady…'

'He doesn't. We're just friends.' Holly huffed. When was this guy going to stop trying to piss her off? Gibbs shook his head. 'Jack doesn't have "just friends" when it comes to women.' He said confidently. This was just confusing Holly. The combination of the heat, the stink of alcohol and Gibbs' third degree were giving her a headache for sure. She got up from her chair, excusing herself and feeling Gibbs watch her as she left.

Which, if she wasn't so distracted, she would have realised was the one thing she wasn't supposed to do.

The cool air hit her face and Holly breathed a sigh of relief. Salty air filled her nose and she felt calmer. Holly didn't just love the movies - like Jack, she loved the sea. It was where she belonged. Suddenly she was knocked out of her thoughts when she got shoved by behind by a drunken couple because she was standing in the doorway. Snapping out of it, she wondered where Jack was. It was possible he had gone to sit down at the beach, so she trotted off. She swerved around drunk couples. _Almost there,_ she thought.

Before she knew what was happening, she was on the ground. Two brawly men were towering over her, making her want to just sink into the sand. One of them picked her up by the shoulders and Holly couldn't believe he was helping her up. 'Well thank-'

One thing you should know about Pirates is that they're _never_ considerate. Suddenly she was against a wall, one of the men pinning her arms while the other one rifled through her pockets, not caring if he ripped her clothes. 'Hey-!' She protested as a few buttons flew off her shirt. Both pirates froze. Holly looked down and saw that her binding bandages were in clear view. She struggled and started screaming, but the pirate had abandoned robbing her and covered her mouth. He pulled at her hat (Holly felt like he was ripping out half her hair) and her hair tumbled down past her shoulders. 'Well, well,' the pirate said. 'Looks like it's our lucky night, friend.' He told his accomplice and smiled at Holly with yellowed, disgusting teeth as his friend chuckled darkly. Holly couldn't stand it.

She was ripped off her wall by the guy holding her and restrained and silenced, led into a darker area, away from the main dirt road - a patch of abandoned palm trees, away from everything. Holly couldn't even think of moving. In the movies, it looks so cool the victim can overpower the villain and end up running away safe, but now that Holly was actually living it she realised that that was NEVER going to happen.

The guy stopped, releasing her mouth but still holding her shoulders tightly and the first guy - the guy that tried to rob her - appeared in front of her once more. 'Alright, sweet heart. We can do this the easy way, or the hard way. The hard way is a lot more painful, so I suggest you just stand still…' To Holly's dismay, he was suddenly _far _too close (too close being within a 10 mile distance). Holly panicked. Pirates weren't supposed to panic, but right now she wasn't a pirate. She was Holly Lynn Robinson and she was scared shitless.

She only had one weapon and one place that she could really hurt him. Holding her breath, she let him inch closer, hating herself for it. Then when he was (finally) close enough, she struck. Using the element of surprise, she managed to sink her teeth into the man's neck, making a really… _Feral_… sound in the process. Did that sound really come from her?

The man yelled in pain, writhing and managing to step far enough away from her that Holly had to let go. He clutched his neck, blood streaming through his fingers. It was a truly disgusting sight. Holly made a face, tasting his blood on her lips. 'I really hope you don't have AIDS or something.' She said in an appalled voice.

'You little bitch!' the man yelled, producing his sword. Okay, so maybe that wasn't the best idea.

Thinking fast, she waited until he was about to strike to drive down, ripping herself from the other man's hands. He had thought holding her by the shoulders was enough. There was a ear-splitting scream as the man who had been holding her fell, blood protruding from his stomach. The man with the sword roared as Holly took off and was on her heals before she could blink. She looked back and made a disgusted face as the man half ran half wobbled towards her, clutching his neck. "You're gonna die!" He yelled at her. Her eyes widened and she screamed as she lost her footing and fell heavily onto the sandy ground, knocking her head. _No._

The man easily caught up to her and brought his boot heavily down on her ankle so she couldn't get away again. There was a loud crack and Holly screamed, instantly knowing that it was broken. Tears streamed down her face. The man brought his sword up over his head, ready to plunge it into her heart, execution style. Holly didn't have the energy to roll away, so she closed her eyes tight and hoped that she would faint before she died.

The last thing she heard was a gunshot.

The next morning, Holly awoke crying. Maybe it was the pain, or the dreams she had, but she couldn't stop the tears from coming. Wait, wasn't she supposed to be dead?

She was curled in a ball, encased in the arms of someone protectively who was sleeping next to her. It was clear that she was still in Tortuga, she could tell by the smell of the bed. She didn't know who was holding her yet and apart from being slightly creeped out, she wanted to stay there forever. She felt safe.

Eventually, she built up the courage to look at the man's face and was greeted with a sleeping Jack Sparrow. He didn't look peaceful sleeping, he looked troubled. His normally calm face was creased by way of frowning. He looked… Angry? Suddenly his arms tightened around her and brought Holly's face right against his shirtless chest. She felt his heart beat against her ear and a deep rumbling in his chest as he spoke, eyes still closed. He sighed. 'Holly, what did I tell you to do?' He asked her. Holly couldn't help but feel weird that he called her by her actual name, but understood the importance.

'….To stay close.'

'Right. Since you disobeyed a direct order from the captain, we almost lost you. Do you understand how much pain that would cause us-'

'Jack-'

'-how much Lexi would have personally made the rest of my life a living hell? Huh, do you?'

'I-'

'You've barely started your life and you go and gamble it aw- Mphm, hmmmm..' He was interrupted by Holly kissing him in an attempt to shut him up but also as a thank you. It was soft and it took a while for him to relax and actually enjoy it and by that time Holly pulled away. 'It was you.' She said breathlessly. 'You saved me. You shot him.'

Jack avoided eye contact, being taken back to that moment when he first saw the scene. Holly's air-splitting scream (girl had an excellent pair of lungs) and the heart-stopping moment when he realised it was actually her. He would have shot the guy anyway, but….

Seeing her lying there, battered and broken, shirt ripped, bandages torn, bleeding, dead to the world… Made him realise how much he actually cared for her. As a pirate captain, he didn't often show favouritism towards women. But this girl… She wasn't a whore and she wasn't… well, she was the most dysfunctional pirate he had ever laid eyes on. Unfortunately, he knew he couldn't get too close to her, because other pirates would use that against him. Especially since they were going after Barbossa, that evil sonofabitch would use that information to his full advantage.

But for now, while they were alone, he would allow himself to indulge. He kissed her cheek and pulled her in even closer, enjoying feeling her hot breath on his face, letting him know every second that she was alive. 'Don't ever leave my side again.' He growled.

Lexi sat, head in hands, dealing with the fact that her best friend had almost died last night. Why hadn't she been there? They were supposed to stay together in this world, side by side helping each other out. But instead, she had been talking to Tom, too caught up in what she was feeling then to even notice Holly was gone. When her emotions had calmed down, she had decided _not_ to use the remote to go back and kill those guys before they could do anything to her friend. Holly had survived. Barely, but she was alive. If Lexi went back, she would be an extra factor that may effect the outcome of the battle, for the worse. Who knew? It could be her that could be dead right now if she went back, or worse..

She felt a hand on her back and turned to see Tom. He didn't have his usual goofy smile on his face, or even a mischievous smirk, he looked down with only empathetic eyes at Lexi. He didn't know Holly, he had barely spoke one word to her, but it was clear how much she meant to Lexi. They shared the bond of best friends.

'C'mon, now.' Tom said, bending down in front of Lexi. 'Do you think Holly would want you to see you like this? The great Lexi Gray, crying?' Lexi looked up and Tom quickly wiped away tears that she hadn't even realised were there. It took a lot for Lexi to show her true emotions in public, this must be… Just one of those times. Tom stood up, pulling Lexi up and into a hug. Lexi was grateful, because this allowed her to cry into his shoulder without making a scene. Finally, she pulled her head back and looked up at him. 'Did you see her, when Jack brought her in…?' She whispered. Tom nodded. He had never seen anything quite like it: Captain Jack Sparrow kicking the door down, holding what looked like a bloody rag doll in his arms. The Captain didn't look so hot either - he looked just as broken as she was, only emotionally rather than physically. Lexi had asked if she was alive and he had only given a stiff nod before taking the battered girl upstairs.

Lexi hadn't spoken another word all night.

**Keep calm and carry o- HEY, WHY IS THE RUM GONE!**

**(Review to make more Rum appear for Jack!)**


	12. Moving On

**Disclaimer: Not a hair on their heads, sadly.**

Lexi paced back and forth down in the empty bar at Tortuga. If you hadn't already guessed, she was an early riser and she was worried about Holly. Tom sat at one of the tables in the corner, hunched over and watching her with a hopeless expression. When something was on her mind, you couldn't stop Lexi from wanting to do something about it. You couldn't even get her to sit down and talk about it; she was a girl of action. She had interrupted a fight between the two "lovebirds" earlier that morning and was informed by a if-you-agree-with-him-i'll-hunt-you-down Holly that "_Mister_ Jack Sparrow" ("Oi!") had decided to leave her here, in Tortuga, because she would be a liability to the crew. Lexi also knew that it was because Jack didn't want her to get hurt, but didn't say anything. Jack was right, Holly didn't have the proper fighting technique or stamina to go headfirst into danger with such a bad injury; but she also knew that Holly would - one way or another - find some way to come along. Holly and Lexi had the same adventurous spirit and Lexi knew without a doubt that she would do the same thing.

After about 15 minutes of pacing, it suddenly came to Lexi. An answer so simple that those blubbering guards back at Port Royal would have been able to think of it. She had the power to travel back in time and she knew how to use it. When she pulled it out the remote, Tom stood up and eyed it warily. 'What're ya gonna do with that?" He asked. "I'm going to travel back in time. You're not coming with me. If all goes well, we'll never have this conversation."

"Don't do anything foolish." Tom warned after a moments hesitation.

"Oh, don't get all mushy on me." Lexi scoffed. "Do I look like a fool?"

Tom just gave her a meaningful look which made Lexi roll her eyes. Then she pressed the button and watched morning turn to night and then to evening. Lexi couldn't move while she travelled, so she was in exactly the same place in the bar. A big, clumsy man almost floored her and was about to start a fight when Lexi pushed her sword to his neck. The man retreated instantly, muttering something like "Didn't see you there." before disappearing. Now that her line of vision wasn't otherwise occupied, Lexi could clearly see Gibbs slumped over the bar, drink in hand. "Gibbs!" She yelled, pushing her way through the drunks. "Have you seen Holly?"

"Aye, Miss Lexi, I have. She wandered out a few minutes ago. She seemed… distracte'."

"Damn!" Lexi said loudly and angrily, realizing that she might be too late. She left Gibbs and his confused expression alone, sprinting out the door and into the inky night. A few minutes ago… She can't have gone too far. Lexi ran as fast as she could until she heard shouting. She sidestepped several trees before she could see it - that horrible scene that she'd been imagining since she saw Holly the night before. She saw the remaining pirate swaggering up to Holly, who was now laying defenseless on the sand. Lexi didn't even give herself time to think before pulling out her sword and charging towards him with a fearless war cry. She reached him just in time and skewered him, pulling her sword out quickly.

Unexpectedly, she felt a pain in her shoulder and looked down to see blood. Not the man's. Her own. She had been told that Jack had shot the pirate, but she had not thought he'd been there yet. Trust this to be the one time Captain Jack Sparrow missed his mark. Suddenly Lexi was lying next to Holly, her shoulder throbbing and feeling faint. She looked over at Holly and saw that mercifully she had fainted. She saw Jack looming above her, examining something that had fallen out of her boot. _No… The remote…. _

"Bugger."

Then she blacked out.

The next morning, Lexi woke up suddenly, gasping. Everything came rushing back to her. She reached up and discovered a bandage wrapped around her head and let her hand drift down to the one she knew was covering her shoulder. Slowly she turned her head to examine her surroundings, though she already knew where she was. Holly was lying next to her asleep in the bed, Jack was sitting in the single chair snoring and Tom nowhere in sight. The sun was rising out the window and it was way too quiet for a town like Tortuga.

Itching for movement, Lexi sat up and swung her legs over the side of the bed. She felt like she had been sleeping for 3 days. _I have to get out._ She thought and tiptoed to the door, wincing at it creaked when she opened it. "Lexi?"

Damn it.

"Jack." Lexi said, pulling her pistol from her sash and pointing it at the infamous pirates head. "You have something of mine and I want it back." She cocked the pistol to make her point. Jack slowly and carefully reached into his pocket. "Wha, this?"

"Yes, that. Give it back!" Lexi whisper-yelled. She didn't want her friend to wake up, but she needed to get the remote off Jack before he did anything stupid, or worse, actually attempted to use it. Jack twirled it in his hands, examining it closely with a suddenly mischievous look. "Tell me what it is and i'll give it back to ye."

"Give it back to me or i'll shoot you." Lexi growled.

"Well, i'd say we've reached an _im-passe_, Miss Gray." Jack said, creating emphasis on their situation.

"Captain. And wrong, I have a gun, who's to say I won't shoot you?"

Jack looked pointedly at Holly, who was still peacefully sleeping. She knew he didn't much care about waking her up, so the only reason he would bring her into it is if he knew that if Lexi hurt Jack, she also hurt Holly. Likewise, if she killed Jack Sparrow, she would never be forgiven.

Captain Jack Sparrow, the second person in this world to get one up on Captain Lexi Gray.

Lexi sighed and lowered her gun and looked at Holly. "Not here."

"Jack, how hard is it to understand? This remote lets me travel backwards and forwards in time, as well as freezing time whenever I please." Lexi was sitting in a small, secluded booth with Jack and Tom at the back of the pub. No one was there except the bar tender, but they couldn't risk her overhearing. "That's very interesting. All that's confusin' me, luv, is how you managed to… obtain… such a valuable item."

Lexi raised an eyebrow. "Let's just say I travelled a long way for it."

"Interestin'…."

"Jack, stop that. It's annoying. I'm not going to use it against you, if that's what you're worried about. But in order for me to use it to our advantage, you'll have to take me with you. Both Holly and I. I know you usually don't take injured on your ship, but you can't say no to this."

"What about me?" Tom asked. Lexi snorted. "He was going to take you anyway. You aren't injured. You'd go, too, even if I had to stay behind. Nothing can separate you and the promise of adventure." She leaned over and stoked his cheek. "I learnt that a while ago." She smacked his cheek lightly and he jumped, snapping out of his confusion of Lexi actually being affectionate in public. Lexi's chair scraped as she stood up. She snatched the remote out of Jack's hands and dropped it into her boot. "I'm going to go and check on Holly." And with that, she was gone.

Tom sighed. "That's what I get for falling in love with a fearsome woman-pirate."

"Aye." Jack agreed, taking a long swig of his rum.

"Feast yer eyes, Capt'n! All faithful hands behind the mast, every man worth it's salt!"

"And crazy to boot…" Lexi muttered.

Holly could tell that Jack seriously doubted Gibbs, staring down at Marty.

"THIS is your able-bodied crew?" Will asked incredulously, not seeing that Jack had almost the same look of confusion on his face that Will did. Jack walked a little further down the line and Will, Holly, Lexi, Tom and Gibbs all shuffled behind him. Talk about sheeple.

"You, sailor!" Jack said suddenly to Cotton, the unfortunate mute with the brightly colored parrot on his shoulder. "Er, Cotton, sir.." Gibbs filled in. "Mr Cotton! Do you have the courage and fortitude to follow orders and stay true in the face of danger and almost certain death? …. Mr Cotton, answer man!"

Jack was too busy trying to figure out Mr Cotton's alarmed look at Gibbs to notice that Will, Lexi and Tom were all staring at Holly who was jumping up and down in excitement, a big grin on her face. _That was her favorite line! _Lexi knew what her best friend was so happy about and smirked and rolled her eyes in response. Poor Will and Tom were throughly lost.

"He's a mute, Jack. He won't answer you. Go ahead, talk to the parrot." Lexi told the Captain, who narrowed his eyes at her. Was this a scheme to make him look stupid in front of his crew? Slowly he turned back to Mr Cotton. "Mr Cotton's… Parrot." He said hesitantly. "Same question."

"SQWARK! Wind in the sails, wind in the sails!"

"… Mostly we figure that means yes…" Gibbs said after a moment of silence.

"Of course it does! I've had enough of this bloody island, come on, let's GO!" Holly began ushering (scaring) everyone onto the boats as someone spoke up. "What's in it for us!"

"Cookies?" Lexi said on impulse.

"A sense of self satisfaction and accomplishment?" Holly followed up.

Jack recognized the voice and slowly walked up to the mysterious figure. He carefully pulled the offending hat from its place. "Anna Maria."

_SMACK!_

_"_I suppose you didn't deserve that one either." Will said bitterly. Jack slowly reached up and cracked his jaw back in place, then rubbed his aching skin. Lexi smirked and Holly giggled. "Nope, that one he definitely deserved!"

"You. stole. my. boat!" Anna Maria growled.

"Actually-"

_SMACK!_

"-Borrowed, borrowed without permission but with every intention of bringing it back to you."

"Is that what you call "stealing" here? He didn't actually bring it back to her obviously, no matter how good his intentions were." Holly whispered loudly to Gibbs. Jack turned and gave her a dark look to which she smiled brightly and waved. Anna Maria stood, arms crossed and waiting. "… You'll get another one?" Jack said, more a question than an answer. He had no idea how he was going to pull that one off. "A better one!" Will threw in, trying to smother that look of rage that still occupied the young pirate's face. "A better one!" Jack agreed heartily.

"THAT ONE!" Holly and Lexi yelled together pointing wildly at the ship they were about to occupy. Jack treated them a stunned look. "That one!" He growled angrily. Holly and Lexi shrugged, not at all intimidated by Jack and his "fearsome pirate" act. Was he loosing his touch? Probably.

"Aye, that one! What say you?" Jack conceded. "Aye!" The crew yelled heartily and prepared the dingys. Gibbs came up behind Jack. "No, no, no. It's frightful bad luck to have women on board!" He said, not knowing that he would then have to face the skeptical looks of two fearsome women pirates. He took a step back. "Gibbs." Lexi started. "Soon, I am going to find a ladder, a black cat, a women and anything else I can think of and scare your pants off one friday the thirteenth. Then, when you survive, we'll see what you have to say about your silly superstitions." She swept off, with Holly and Tom in tow. Gibbs stared at Jack, who was looking off into the sky somewhere. "It'd be far worse not to have them." He told the spooked first mate, keeping his promise to Lexi. Finally he turned to get in a dingy. Will and Gibbs looked up, trying to see what Jack was looking at -

"HOW CAN WE SAIL TO AN ISLAND THAT NOBODY CAN FIND, WITH A COMPASS THAT DOESN'T WORK?" Will yelled angrily, not happy about being caught in a storm. Lexi sat atop one of the boxes, seemingly perfectly balanced even though the ship was rocking violently. She wasn't allowed to do hard labour because of her shoulder so she contented herself with watching Will, Gibbs and Tom do it. "Ah, Will. You've got to have more faith in Jack, mate. He's Captain Jack Sparrow and if that doesn't mean anything to you by now you really are an idiot and you should jump overboard. What're you looking at, Gibbs!"

Gibbs was giving her an evil look. Apparently the storm was her fault, because she was a woman aboard a ship. He jumped and turned back to Will. "Aye, it's true that the compass doesn't point North but we're not trying to find North, are we?"

That was true. But to be fair, they weren't exactly headed in the right direction, either, at that particular moment in time.

"Jack! Did you REALLY have to take us through a fucking storm to get there!" Holly yelled angrily, appearing next to the captain at the helm. "This is the only set of pirate clothes I have, i'll have to go back to my modern clothes after this - and since Norrington said I looked like a wench in them, I really didn't want to wear them on a ship full of horny pirates! Are you even listening to me?"

Jack wasn't. He placed a heavy arm around Holly's shoulders and jerked her close. "Yer feisty today." He said in her ear over the rushing sound of the water. Holly blushed furiously and hit him in the chest. "I wonder why!"

"I like it."

"Of course you do, Jack. Your brain runs on a constant cycle of Rum, sex and freedom."

"Mhmmm… Ye want t'know what i'm thinking now."

"Honestly? Not really. Save the pornographic images, please."

"Ye look good wet." He said, leaning closer to her. Holly tried to stop herself from just giving in completely and kissing him in front of the crew. "Oh really? And what do you plan to _do _about that, Captain?"

"Well-" Jack started seductively, but paused, his eyes catching the compass he was holding. The arrow was pointed directly at Holly, somewhere it shouldn't have been pointing right then if he was going to lead the crew to Barbossa. Reluctantly he pushed her away. "-Ye need to leave. Go below, dry off and stay there until we've reached port. No arguin'."

Holly huffed and stormed down the stairs, several pairs of eyes watching her go. Even more eyes were questioning Jack silently and he sighed, knowing he was going to regret that - even more - later.

A few days later, they were definitely catching up, which meant Jack didn't take them _too far_ off course. Clues included the almost supernatural fog that surrounded their ship, the fact that they were in a ship graveyard and how Cotton's parrot was creepily repeating "Dead men tell no tales!" over and over until Lexi offered to shoot him. Most of the crew was looking gloomily over the passage, but a select few had stepped away from the edge for an enlightening conversation about their dear captain.

"How is it that Jack came by that compass?" Will demanded of Gibbs. Gibbs delayed his answer, saying "Not alot known about Jack Sparrow before he turned up in Tortuga with a mind to go after the treasure of the Isla de Murta. That was before i'd met him, back when he was the captain of the Black Pearl."

"What! He failed to mention that."

"Wow, it all makes so much more sense nowwwww…." Holly mocked him and Lexi snickered.

Gibbs proceeded to tell Will the story of how Jack was viciously mutinied upon, pausing only when interrupted by Holly and Lexi. So after about half an hour, he finally managed to get through it.

"Ah." Will sighed, like he understood. Naïve man. "So that's the reason for all the-" Will did his impression of Jack as Holly and Lexi looked on skeptically. "Honestly, Will. If you're going to impersonate someone, you have to do it well in order for people to know who you're trying to be." Lexi told him as Holly began to swagger round the deck, tripping and pretending the accidently spill rum on Gibbs. She then threw an arm around Lexi's waist (since her neck was too high) and pulled her close, whispering loudly. "I hope your temper's like your hair, luv. I like 'em feisty!" She then released her friend and looked pointedly up at Jack, who had his eyes narrowed at her from the helm. She then dramatically put the back of her hand to her forehead and stumbled across some boxes, falling onto one. "Why is the rum ALWAYS gone!"

By now she had the whole crew laughing, and Jack knew he had to stop this. "Gibbs, take the helm. I have to teach this girl a lesson!" He growled, dragging her towards the stairs to go below deck. "Oops, i'm in trubble now!" Holly put on her little girl's voice, which only made the crew laugh harder. Jack growled again and tugged her down the steps.

**A/N: OMG OMG OMG THIS CHAPTER IS DONE FINALLY. Lexi is taking a break for this chapter's Disclaimer and A/N, I hope you don't mind! So if you guys didn't catch that, because Lexi went back in time that sweet scene between Jack and Holly in the last chapter never happened, so neither have admitted their feelings or anything. **

**I'M SO SORRY. How long has it been? Half a year? Oh, god. This was supposed to be the one story I actually complete that has multiple chapters! But alto's happened and i've been really busy…. Forgive me? T.T**

**I'm sorry this chapter wasn't really as funny as it could have been… I've really lost my touch. Hahah**

**BARBOSSA IN THE NEXT CHAPTER! HILARITY ENSURES! xD**

**Any questions or comments, praises or flames, I take them all… Just click that little review button, people! I love to hear from you!**

**Lexi will (hopefully) be back next chapter, whenever that will be….**

**Much love.**

**Kimmi**


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